Barbecue season has started at my house and I might have made a strategic error. For my first 'cue of the year, I decided to invite my chef buddies over. The cast included three former sous chefs, a line cook and a dishwasher. Sounds like a bad joke; all I needed was a preacher.
Cooking for normal people is sometimes stressful, but cooking for chefs is decidedly … easier. Seems counter-intuitive doesn’t it? But think about the crowd I am entertaining. Do they really give a crap if I properly sear my chicken? No. Do they care if my beans are slightly raw? No. The last thing that they want to worry about at a barbecue is the food. They want social interaction and normalcy. And a lot of beer.
They don’t care about the food because that is what they do all day long. When chefs are at a barbecue, all we want to do is sit back and relax. Please don’t ask us to cook. We probably will but we don’t want to. Also, if you get shoved to the side and your grill gets taken over, it's nothing personal. The chef is probably just hungry. Making good food is always a plus but we are not going to criticize. At my house, I could have cooked them all hot dogs—the cheap ones—and we still would have had a wonderful dinner.
My son also demanded that I leave a slice of Swiss cheese on the grill because he was doing a “science experiment” on it. I personally feared another Dr. Strangelove on the rise. However, I found out later that my son was was trying to duplicate the bit about the cheese in the Diary of a Wimpy Kid book. (Any kid who touches a moldy piece of cheese that has been on the blacktop for ages is cursed with the Cheese Touch.)
I am just worried now. What if I cook as bad for normal people as I did when the chefs were at my house? Now that would be embarrassing.