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  • Fast as Heck

      Ah, Oregon's highways. Each time I visit, they seem smoother than when I left. I swear they must get re-covered as often as any pool table in Boise. And did somebody ask how wide the highways are? My grandmother fawned over I-84's broad shoulders with an enthusiasm she usually saves for George Clooney's.
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  • Heat Wave Casualties

      I finally realized this week why Idaho is shaped this way. You may have heard it has to do with a river and a continental something-or-other, but forget that jibber-jabber. Here's the truth: We're residing in Gawd's own sweat sock.
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  • Big Stick Skit Schtick

      As a child, I had a mean case of The Skits. Over the weekend, I felt it once again--that unmistakeable urge to corral people into performances, especially without their knowledge. Luckily, I had an eager cast at my disposal. So, without further ado, I present this year's Independence Day masterwork, Heck's Host: A Re-Enactment of the Last Half-Century of United States Foreign Policy.
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  • A Prayer to the Plague-Gods

      Last weekend was definitely the wrong time for me to hang out in America's sweaty pant-band--that is, the Bible Belt.
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  • Heck Gets Flea-Dipped

      I'm not normally one to dip into flea markets, but it's not because I don't enjoy shopping at them. The problem is that whenever I do, I realize afterward how close I am to getting accidentally killed at any given moment, and I can't sleep for days.
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