Look, we needed a simple answer from you people, and you give us this?
Maybe it's the result of going all-online in our polling this year. We always get a few doozies. But thanks, Web-enabled funnypeople, for these gems:
Best local women's clothes
"I am not a cross-dresser."
Best Local Strip Club
"Again, read a book."
"Can we please refrain from calling them strip clubs when more is bared on a hot day floating the river?"
"Gross. None of them."
"My bedroom." [Editor's note: Ha.]
"Yikes, the wife would shoot me if I went to one of those places."
Best Local Karaoke
"Gag me with a microphone."
"I know people do this, but seriously."
"Never been that drunk."
"The Corner Bar in Yellowpine (not local, but cool)."
Best Local Vegetarian Food
"COWS ARE GREAT!"
"If God didn't want us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of meat."
"Raw fish in August ... bleah."
"Another type of ethnic food that needs to be improved."
"HP Tech Support."
Best Local Steak
"The one you didn't eat."
Best Local TV Anchor
"None of those foolish talking heads."
"They all suck."
"TV anchors are the spawn of Satan."
Best Local Bike Shop
"Hate bikes and bikers. Build some damn bike lanes!"
"They all suck. No BMX specialty shop."
Best Golf Course
"Golf courses are water sucking monsters."
"Golf is a waste of a perfectly good cross-country course."
"Golf is bad for the planet."
"If you drink enough to know your bartender, ugh."