April 21—27 

April 21

1300 block of Colorado Ave-A thief becomes enamored with a Quicksilver wallet and takes it from a car. Memo to thief: That wallet is so 1991. What, are you going to hold someone up for a Hypercolor T-shirt next?

5100 block of Wiley Lane-Tired of getting humiliated on the cruise, a player steals an amp, in-dash CD player, fancy faceplate and 50 ass-rocking CDs from his homey's car.

7100 block of W. Everett-A thief goes on a shopping tour of Everett Street by entering two unlocked cars. The spoils: a new stereo, plus an extra faceplate. Just in case anybody returns the favor.

1500 block of S. Vista-A thief is doing all right. Getting good grades. The future looks bright. He's gotta wear shades; steals them from an unlocked vehicle.

600 block of S. Hilton St-A thoughtless cinephile forcibly enters a home to harvest the highlights from someone else's collection.

April 22

1100 block of W. Main St-Tired of the green glow of the old Commodore 64, a thief upgrades by stealing a color computer monitor from a business.

April 23

2200 block of University Drive-Thief takes an interest in musical mountaineering; steals an Alpine stereo from a car.

April 24

3400 block of N. 34th St-A thief steals two bags of Mary Kay products from an unlocked vehicle. If she steals 998 more bags, she'll receive a stolen pink Cadillac.

April 25

Intersection of W. Cloverdale and W. Overland-A fat-cat in training steals cigars and a lighter from a car.

April 26

2800 block of Park Circle-A mischievous gamer steals several Xbox controllers, games and a knife from a home. Too bad that knife won't stand a chance against a plasma rifle. Better beef up your shields, dude.

Milepost 48 on Interstate 84-Thief steals medicine from a parked car. We know ED is humiliating, buddy, but stealing other people's little blue pills isn't the answer. Wanna know why? Ask again in four hours.

300 block of W. Rosemount-A thief steals a car stereo's remote control. Afterward, victim is an infinitely safer driver.

April 27

1500 block of S. Vista-A thief decides to balance his checkbook in style; steals a calculator and sunglasses from a car.

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