"Excuse me, sir, all carry-on luggage must be able to fit in the overhead compartment or under the seat in front of you."
"That's not my luggage, that's my lunch."
"But sir, it's the size and shape of a large briefcase!"
"That's the way Flatbread does to-go. They're not messing around. A compartment for everything and everything in its compartment."
"Sir, you may have to purchase an extra seat to accommodate that thing."
"Just give me a minute ... here, have a slice of pizza."