Oh, what a bright idea we had: Let's try store-bought sushi from all over town, and do a review of all the different sushi options in local refrigerated cases. Because of a damning determination to be thorough, this meant we were going to have to sample sushi from a gas station. Yep, a gas station. Just like you might not have expected much from Britney Spears at the MTV Music Awards this year, you might also expect that sushi purchased from the same guy who sells motor oil and those tree-shaped car fresheners is not going to be high class. And you'd be right. Brother, would you ever be right. In fact, brother, if you really cared about us, you might have warned us that gas station sushi is not for the faint of heart. Come to think of it, our hearts were just a little bit fainter after trying—and failing—to ingest gas station sushi. We failed because nobody managed to get past the first bite.