BPD Haul In Their Internet Boyfriend 

The following is a public service announcement from BW to a demographic we're very nervous to stick up for:

Dear Internet perverts,

In our current society, where the title "sex offender" carries more negative connotations than any other save "terrorist," we feel confident in a couple of conclusions. First, if you, in your surfing, happen to find some child pornography, rest assured somebody in a uniform put it there and knows you are looking at it. Secondly, if you, as a chatroom lech, happen to be sweet-talking a surprisingly imaginative and sexualized 14-year-old lolita, and she happens to agree to meet with you on a day when her parents happen to be away, you will soon happen to find yourself on a date with the hairiest, heaviest-armed 14-year-old "girl" imaginable.

We realize that the words "happen to be" appear repeatedly in the previous paragraph, but the word choice is pure irony. We don't know how to make this any clearer, people: these things rarely occur by accident anymore.

Just ask Kelly Carpentier, a 46-year-old Boise man who was arrested last Thursday after allegedly wanting to take his Internet sexcapades to the next level. According to a Police Department release, Carpentier enjoyed a two-week relationship with a detective posing as a 14-year-old girl, and which over the fortnight became "increasingly sexual." After agreeing to meet with the girl at an undisclosed local residence, and--here's the kicker--showing up, Carpentier was arrested on felony charges of enticement of a child over the Internet.

When arrested, Carpentier was in possession of several items indicating that his vision of the perfect date was no laughing matter. He had several notes containing other females' names and directions to local homes, leading detectives to ask any of Carpentier's other potential online friends to come forward. And then there was the matter of a loaded .357 handgun ... wait, wait. After reviewing the disturbing details of Carpentier's apprehension, we'd like to change our public service announcement. If you are the type of Internet surfer who feels it necessary to take a loaded .357 to your hot cyber-date, ignore everything we've said so far. Please, please, meet with the cops. Leave your credit card number on as many pay-for-porn sites as possible, and believe every dirty word those officers type for your enjoyment.

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