Crappy Mother's Day • Here's Your Excuse to Eat What You Want While Dancing Like a Chicken • La Pity De Self 

CRAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

I didn't think I would stumble upon a feel-bad story about Mother's Day, but here goes. It turns out that the woman who invented the modern version of Mother's Day, Anna Jarvis, was so horrified by the massive commercialization of the holiday that she spent 40 years of her life trying to rid the special day of cards and flowers and presents in order to take back what she thought of as the real meaning of Mother's Day, which she had intended to be a quiet day to honor your mom in church. After tirelessly campaigning for over 10 years to have a special day recognized for the world's moms, it took only a few short years of crass marketing to drive Jarvis to try to reclaim the holiday. She even went so far as to incorporate the Mother's Day International Association and tried to copyright the date. Needless to say, her struggle wasn't quite successful. After spending her entire family's inheritance trying to undo the damage to Mother's Day—and wasting about 40 years of her life—Anna Jarvis died in 1948, in poverty and without success. (BBC)

UNFORTUNATELY, it will cost you your action figure collection

At last, there is hope for the world's dorky computer geeks who are finding it difficult to lose their virginity. A Dutch escort agency has set up a service specifically for nerds who work in that country's IT sector. "They are very sweet but are afraid of seeking contact with other people. They mean very well but are very scared," explained Zeo Vialet, who came up with the idea of a three-hour session with one of five women who have been specially trained to meet the needs of virgins. "You better practice before having a girlfriend," warned Zoe, because "there is nothing more terrible than dying as a virgin." (Ananova)

OLD GAMBLERS DON'T DIE, THEY JUST GET LOWER ODDS

A British man who bet £100 a decade ago that he would live to be 100 years old has now collected a sweet birthday paycheck of £25,000 (almost $50,000). Newly minted centenarian Alec Holden was given 250-to-one odds against living to the ripe old age of 100 by bookie William Hill back in 1997. But he may be the last person to claim such a prize, as the new target age for bets is now 110. "When we started taking these bets, 100 years old seemed to be an almost mythical landmark and we were prepared to offer massive odds," said a spokesman for the bookie. "But these age wagers are starting to cost us a fortune." (The Guardian)

MEN do LOVE EASY WOMEN

Listen up, women. In his new book, The Rough Guide to the Brain, biologist Barry Gibb claims that sleeping with someone on the first date actually increases the chance of a long-term relationship, since the act of sex sparks chemical changes in the brain which lead it to desire more love and commitment. (The Sun)

HOW DO YOU SAVE THE EXTINCT FROM EXTINCTION?

A Canadian member of Parliament has presented parliament with a 5,000-signature-strong petition asking the government to include protection for the sasquatch under Canada's species-at-risk act. The man who started the petition, Bigfoot researcher Todd Standing, claims that he has proof of the mythical beast's existence but doesn't want to expose the creature's whereabouts until it is a protected animal. "When I get species protection for them nationwide, I will make my findings public and I will take this out of the realm of mythology. Bigfoot is real," Standing told reporters. (AFP)

THE AVERAGE DOCUMENTARY IS A BORING WASTE OF TIME

A British documentary called "Human Footprint" has crunched the numbers and calculated the average amount of almost everything in our lives. For example, during the average lifespan of 2,475,576,000 seconds, the average human will eat an average of 10,000 chocolate bars, drink 15,000 pints of milk, smoke 77,000 cigarettes, shed 121 pints of tears, take 7,163 baths and have sex an average of 4,200 times. However, they didn't bother to calculate how many hours the average person will waste watching pointless documentaries about useless statistics. (Channel4.com)

I-READ-IT-ON-THE-INTERNET-SO-IT-MUST-BE-TRUE FACT OF THE WEEK

Sleeping burns more calories than watching TV.

Get way more news at CuriousTimes.com.

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