Curious Times: Armless, chocoholics and Oprah 

IT'S ALL FUN AND GAMES UNTIL SOMEONE LOSES AN ARM

Head on over to ehow.com for step-by-step instructions for becoming a professional alligator wrestler. The site advises to start at Colorado Gators, America's only alligator wrestling school, then get a job at Reptile Gardens animal park, spend a lot of time in swamps and start your wrestling career with the smallest gator you can find. Be warned, though, the average wage for an alligator wrestler is about $8 per hour.

SET MY ALARM FOR "NEVER"

Next time someone tries to kick you out of bed way before you're ready, tell them about new research that claims that people who stay up late at night are smarter, richer and have better memories than those who wake up bright and early in the morning. The researchers found that late risers performed better on most mental tasks and early risers rapidly lost their mental agility about 10 hours into the day while night owls kept going strong well into the evening. This article also went on to reveal that Charles Darwin, Winston Churchill and Adolf Hitler were all night owls, in case you need any inspiration. (Daily Mail)

CHOC TEASE

Chocoholic scientists at Harvard University have invented an inhaler that will allow you to ingest all of the chocolate you want without adding a single calorie to your fat ass. "Le Whif" allows you to breathe in chocolate particles in order to satisfy your cravings without actually pigging out on chocolate. "We call it whiffing," explained professor David Edwards. "It fills your mouth with almost pure chocolate--it tastes really good." Get yours at lewhif.com.

SLEEP, EAT, REPEAT

You don't need science to make you feel good about drinking, sleeping late and eating chocolate. Just move to France, which has ranked No. 1 in a study that tracked the sleeping and eating patterns of people in the world's 18 wealthiest nations. According to the latest research, the average French person sleeps almost nine hours per night (more than an hour longer than the average Japanese or Korean) and when they finally get out of bed, they spend more than two hours a day eating food, more than twice as long as the average Mexican. (Daily Mail)

YOUR DUMB FISH IS SMARTER THAN YOUR DUMB DOG

Next time you neglect to spend some quality time with your fish, remember this story. Researchers at Oxford University have discovered that fish may be even more intelligent than dogs. Dr. Theresa Burt de Perera, who admitted that "the public perception of fish is that they are pea-brained numbskulls who can't remember things for more than a few seconds," claimed that challenges and memory tests reveal that fish are capable of learning a wide range of mental skills and are able to remember them for many months. The research also revealed that the fish were able to complete complex mental tasks that routinely stump hamsters and dogs. Burt de Perera also claimed that fish can recognize their owners and will sometimes go into a sulk if somebody else tries to feed them. ( The Telegraph)

OPRAH, I WANNA BE YOUR DOG

So what if you're dumber than a fish ... as long as you have a million bucks or so in the bank, what's the difference? Check out bankling.com for a list of the world's richest pets, which has the stories of seven dogs and seven cats who are worth way more than you'll ever be, including the world's richest animal, Gunther IV, a German shepherd who inherited $372 million from his father, Gunther III, who in turn received his fortune from the German countess Karlotta Liebenstein back in 1992. The list also includes the famous pets of Leona Helmsley, Drew Barrymore and Oprah (who will leave her dogs $30 million dollars when she dies), as well as less famous animals such as a stray cat who befriended a lonely widow and cashed in with a $226,000 trust fund and an $800,000 house. And don't miss your chance to help create the world's first cat Internet millionaire at themillionairecat.com, where a cat is seeking donations because her owners won't be leaving her a dime when they die. So far, Lola is up to a grand total of two bucks.

INTERNET FACT OF THE WEEK

Eating cheddar cheese before bedtime increases your chances of dreaming about celebrities. :

Get way more bizarro news at curioustimes.com.

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