Curious Times 

BEAM UP MY VIRTUAL DOUBLE, SCOTTY

We still don't have flying cars, moving sidewalks or robot maids, but scientists are already getting way ahead of themselves by working on a version of virtual teleportation which would allow you to send a copy of yourself to another location over the Internet. Professors Todd Mowry and Seth Goldstein of Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh are working on a system which will replicate three-dimensional objects out of synthetic atoms. Cameras would capture the details of the object or person, and this data would then be sent over the Internet and be recreated out of what they call nano-dust-tiny objects which can be programmed to bind to each other. Basically, the image at the other end is a holographic copy of yourself, but the researchers hope that within one generation the quality will be high enough that it will seem that you are in two locations at once. "We can't teleport somebody-nobody's going to travel anywhere," said Dr. Mowry, but added that they will be able to reproduce a physical object that looks just like the original object, and moves just like it. (Nature)

THE MOST FRIGHTENING ARMY IN THE WORLD-GERMAN MEN WITH PONYTAILS AND MULLETS

It seems that the days of crew cuts in the German army are coming to an end after a military court in Munich ruled that forcing men to cut their long hair was unconstitutional and went against their rights as individuals. The ruling came down after a complaint from an 18-year-old soldier who was threatened with three weeks of solitary confinement for not allowing army barbers to cut off his 10-inch-long ponytail. This ruling will now allow German soldiers to keep their ponytails, fauxhawks, mullets and Fabio-inspired locks. (Ananova)

THE DARK AGES CONTINUE

A Romanian priest and four nuns face up to 20 years in jail after a successful exorcism of a possessed nun ended in her death by asphyxiation. The 23-year-old nun had been bound to a cross, gagged, and left in a cold room for three days without food or water. The priest who led the exorcism was unrepentant, claiming that God has performed a miracle for her, finally Irina is delivered from evil. He also added that I don't understand why journalists are making such a fuss about this. (BBC)

YES KIDS, GO AHEAD AND SLAP THOSE BITCHES, JUST DON'T DO IT ALL DAY ...

An earth-shattering study from the United Kingdom's gaming industry has discovered that an 18+ rating on video games makes the games sell better with kids. No shit ... The brilliant conclusion from the analysts discovered that an 18+ rating tells kids that this game is cool and has adult content. Further research found that today's parents don't care much about the content of video games, but are more concerned about their children playing the games for too many hours in the day. (Artstechnica.com)

END OF THE UNIVERSE UPDATE ... ONLY 300 BILLION YEARS TO GO

If you love worrying about end of the world scenarios which you have absolutely no control over, I've got a great one for you. Cosmologists have proposed a theory which claims that our universe will be destroyed when it smashes into an invisible parallel universe, temporarily annihilating every atom in existence before the particles dust themselves off and re-create themselves in a perpetual cycle of cosmic smash-up derby. This model envisions that our cosmos could crash into a vast world of space and time that we can't see or touch from our own visible universe, but that lies next to it, less than an atom's width away. Of course, this theory cannot be verified in any way whatsoever, but the math works out quite nicely, and the numbers point to the destruction of our universe in about 300 billion years. (World-Science)

A PENNY SAVED IS OVER A MILLION SHORT OF A RECORD

If you've been saving up pennies with the ludicrous notion of breaking the record for the world's largest penny collection, you have a new mark to shoot for. Last wee,k Edmond Knowles of Flomaton, Alabama, cashed in 1,308,459 pennies for a total of $13,084.59 to set the new world record in this category. Knowles had filled four 55-gallon and three 20-gallon oil barrels for a collection that weighed in at 4.5 tons. (Yahoo News)

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