DON'T BE SCARED, BE PARANOID • LOCK UP YOUR CHILDREN • LOCK UP YOUR CHILDREN • YODA WOULD PROUD BE NOT • YUMMY MUMMY 

DON'T BE SCARED, BE PARANOID

While June 6, 2006 (6/6/06), will probably not be remembered for much more than being a great day to release Hollywood movies about devil children and religious raptures, there are many freaked out folks around the world who believe that some kind of traumatic attack will be perpetrated on that date by the occult-obsessed global elite. And if you're even a little bit worried, don't read the "6 Things You Must Know About June 6, 2006" posted at ThreeWorldWars.com, which includes these numerologically significant events: June 6 is 222 days from the Muslim riots in Paris; 333 days from the London tube bombings; 777 days from the foiled Sears Tower attack. They also have supposedly significant dates for the numbers 444, 555 and 666, but they seem to be desperately grasping at straws. For example, June 6 is also 555 days from the date Nov. 28, 2004, which was the 333rd day of the year, with 33 days remaining, but so the fuck what?

LOCK UP YOUR CHILDREN

Did you ever wonder how they test mind-altering drugs supposedly designed to stabilize the erratic moods of so-called bipolar or ADD children? Unfortunately tests on rats and monkeys don't quite do the trick. For example, the Web site ClinicalTrials.gov reveals that the Massachusetts General Hospital conducted an eight-week long trial last year for the powerful psychotropic drug Quentiapine on children aged between 4 and 6 years old. Does anyone else see how sickeningly evil this is? As Mike Adams writes on the Web site NewsTarget.com, "this exploitation of young children for drug testing amounts to nothing less than chemical child abuse ... Even the 'disease' being treated here is entirely fictional. So-called 'bi-polar disorder' was wholly invented by psychiatrists with strong financial ties to drug companies. The purpose of this disease is not to help children, but to sell drugs to anyone and everyone, including toddlers." Read the entire outrageous tale at NewsTarget.com/019389.html

THAT'S DR. GHOSTBUSTER TO YOU

A university in the United Kingdom has set up a program to allow students to earn a degree in parapsychology. According to program director Dr. Tony Lawrence, this "controversial yet thought-provoking" two-year program will use scientific methods to investigate such matters as ghosts, extrasensory perception, survival beyond death and other paranormal subjects. Dr. Lawrence promises that the course will try to find the middle ground between science and religion, using "an honest, open systematic examination of the evidence for these exceptional human experiences." (BBC)

YODA WOULD PROUD BE NOT

But if two years of studying seems like too much of a chore, why not just go online for your credentials? The Universal Life Church, which for years has been turning anyone who will pay into an ordained minister, is now offering you the opportunity to reach the rank of Jedi Knight without doing any of the hard work. "To become a Jedi requires a profound commitment and astute mind," explains the Web site. "The life of a Jedi is one of personal sacrifice. To train they live a life of simplicity and adhere to the Jedi Code which forbids material possession and emotional attachments." On the other hand, you could just skip all that and order your Jedi Knight certificate at ULC.org. May the force be with you!

YUMMY MUMMY

OK ... I just watched one of the strangest TV moments I've ever seen ... and of course I want to share it with you. This is a "news" report from Japan in which a reporter interviews a bunch of women who let cats drink the milk from their lactating breasts. Maybe it doesn't sound so funny written down here in words and all, but if you want a cheap laugh go to CuriousTimes.com where I've posted a direct link to this video.

DON'T MISS THE GREAT SATAN FOOTLONGS AND THE GREAT SATAN COTTON CANDY

A top commander in the Iranian military has proposed turning the former U.S. embassy in Tehran into the "Great Satan Park"--a place showcasing everything that is wrong with America (according to Iran, anyway). "We would be able to nicely show off the American crimes to citizens strolling in the park," said General Mir-Faisal Bagherzadeh. (News24.com)

Get waaay more bizarro news at CuriousTimes.com.

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