HARRY POTTER JOINS THE AXIS OF EVIL • BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE STUPIDEST PLANET • AND YOU THOUGHT YOGA WAS FOR WIMPS • EAT CRAP, LIVE PAST 100 • SHITTY NEWS • CRAZY LOUD MUSIC 

HARRY POTTER JOINS THE AXIS OF EVIL

The Vatican's senior exorcist and president of the International Association of Exorcists (yes, they really do exist), lashed out against Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin and Harry Potter last week, calling all three of them tools of Satan. According to Father Gabriele Amorth, who is said to have performed over 30,000 exorcisms in his career, the Harry Potter books hide "the signature of the king of darkness, the devil." He also claimed that Hitler and Stalin where both possessed by Satan and that wartime pontiff Pope Pius XII attempted a long-distance exorcism on Hitler that failed to work. "I am convinced that the Nazis were all possessed," Father Amorth told Vatican Radio. "All you have to do is think about what Hitler and Stalin did. Almost certainly they were possessed by the devil." (The Telegraph)

BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE STUPIDEST PLANET

Click fast if you want your vote counted in this year's World Stupidity Awards, which recognizes moronic achievements in nine categories, including "Stupidest Man of the Year," "Dumbest Moment of the Year," Stupidest Movie of the Year," and "Stupidest Trend of the Year." The Web site explains that while there are awards for people who kill themselves doing stupid things (check out DarwinAwards.com), these awards are for "those still living, who are probably more influential and dangerous." Like George Bush, who again has his very own category--"Stupidest Statement by President George W. Bush." This year, they are also awarding a Lifetime Achievement Award for Stupidity to the Middle East. Go vote at StupidityAwards.com

AND YOU THOUGHT YOGA WAS FOR WIMPS

I found an exceptionally bizarre film clip from a 1979 martial arts movie in which some crazy-flexible yoga dude battles two kung fu fighters. If you've never been kicked in the face by a guy who has his leg wrapped around his head you might not want to miss this. Check it out at CuriousTimes.com

EAT CRAP, LIVE PAST 100

A 112-year-old California man who died last week of pneumonia stumped the experts who can't understand how he managed to live so long while eating such crap. According to a doctor from the Gerontology Research Group in L.A., the supercentenarian "had terrible bad habits. He had a diet largely of sausages and waffles." (MSNBC)

SHITTY NEWS

And now it's payback time for all you irritating germaphobes who try to guilt me into washing my hands after using the washroom. Read this and weep...according to microbiologist Dr. Charles Gerba of the University of Arizona, the riskiest part of going to the washroom is turning on the water to wash your hands after you're done. Apparently, the hot water taps usually have far more fecal matter on them than the toilet seats. Turning on the water also "disturbs the microbes that dwell in a slimy matrix in the drain ... those cells get airborne," says another professor. And if you think there is any escape from tiny pieces of airborne shit, think again. According to this report, when you flush the toilet with the lid up, fecal bacteria are propelled into the air, landing on the tank, the floor, the seat and the toilet paper. Then, when your hands are finally clean, the hot-air dryers kick in to propel more bacteria around the room, and the final obstacle to your escape--the door handle on the way out--is also covered with fecal matter. Lovely ... (The Globe and Mail)

CRAZY LOUD MUSIC

OK kids, another warning from Gramps ... an audiology expert in Britain claims that listening to loud music on your iPod may leave you with the psychological condition of hearing music hallucinations. This might sound cool but the doctor assures us that the phenomena is quite distressing for those who suffer from it. According to Dr. Aziz, listening to music at high volume can cause tinnitus and inner ear damage, which causes the brain to hear phantom music. The condition commonly occurs when people move from listening to their iPod on a subway to a quiet office. With no more audio stimuli, the brain generates random impulses and interprets them as sound. It then matches the sounds to music which you know and then a song begins in your head. (Netscape News)

Get waaay more bizarro news at CuriousTimes.com.

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