I Am An Idiot 

And the proof lies below

(The following e-mail was sent objecting to the column "Mass Murder, Inc." Except changing the author's name, it is reproduced exactly as it was received.)

Bill Cope you are an idiot. To suggest that the left mass murders are okay because some of the right have also killed is stupid to say the least, and it is even dumber to suggest that capitalism society is as bad. Just another way to justify a liberal agenda, justify the means. THe world is full of people who have taken over other territories or countries, in many cases for many reasons, to say it is all capitalism fault is ignorant. You also ignore the fact that native cultures in the US, South America as well as other counties were just as brutal and took over territory form other tribes but I guess that would defeat your argument you hack. The Incas and Mayan were a brutal race, but I guess since capitalism was not there goal you can ignore that. Tribal warfare in African and the middle east produced the slave trade but in your eyes the south is solely responsible because it would defeat your agenda to take about blacks capturing and selling other blacks into slavery. Get your history straight before you hack it up.I know you won't respond because like a idiots in the left you don't have the balls.

--Gerry

Dear Gerry: You are entirely right. I don't have the balls to respond to you. Raised as I was to be "a idiots in the left," I was instructed never to engage in discussion with people who don't know when to use "their" instead of "there." (A little heads up, Ger: spell check doesn't catch things like that. You have to do it yourself.)

Warnings to avoid verbal entanglements with smart fellows like you generally came during our senior year at Teddy Kennedy High, although some of us got them as early as the ninth grade in Mr. Alinsky's algebra for community organizers class. It was there that I was alerted to the perils of crossing words with guys so keen, they can read things in print that aren't actually there--e.g., "To suggest that the left mass murders are okay because some of the right have also killed ... " Gerry, I can't imagine where you came up with such a notion, but I assure you, I didn't say anything remotely like that in the column that has you so incensed. What I'm pretty sure I said was that mass murders, whether they come from socialist or capitalist backgrounds, are nasty business and should be considered a stain on humanity. (Another useful hint, Ger: Sometimes it helps to read something over a few times if your comprehension levels aren't quite up to snuff for a one-time perusal.)

Yet another caveat we received was to steer clear of geniuses who are so adept at history, they could turn any debate into an opportunity to tell how all the evils to befall people of color over the centuries, be they in the New World or the Old, were largely brought on by themselves. In specific terms, since there were black people involved in the slave trade, ergo, black people must take some responsibility for their slavery. What a moron I am for not understanding that from the beginning! And how come you know all this stuff I never heard of, huh?

But then, as you so clearly pointed out, were I to have included the record of "... blacks capturing and selling other blacks ... " in my column, it would have totally kerplooyed my whole presentation, and my agenda would have come tumbling down like a Lego ladder. Jeez, I feel so stupid. How could I not see that blacks selling other blacks couldn't possibly have anything to do with the capitalist instinct? Furthermore, why couldn't I have come to such splendiferous deductions as you when I wrote "Mass Murder, Inc?" I guess it was because I thought I was writing about the atrocities that often accompany economic decisions, no matter the philosophical foundations from which they come. Silly me not to have realized all along it is just about race.

So, Gerry, not only don't I have the balls to respond as you predicted, but I truly must be an idiot or I wouldn't have even written back in this non-responsive capacity. But I felt obliged to let you know I intend to use your letter as an instruction tool in our regular Wednesday night liberal agenda plotting session. I don't actually lead the group. We Skype up with Bill Ayers in Chicago and he directs the discussion. But we are encouraged to bring anything we pick up over the course of the week that might in any way further our plans to take over the whole world by getting every single thing wrong, as astute citizens like you are so eager to point out.

And since you did challenge me to respond--a challenge that I, without a ball to my name, cannot meet--I assume I don't need your permission to show my liberal soulmates what you sent. Who knows? It might be that your brilliance is just the thing we need to shake us free of this tragic idiocy of ours. To open our brains and let the non-hacked-up history come gushing in. Thank you so much for your contribution.

--Bill Cope

Dearest Comrades: I am looking forward to the Wednesday plotting session with great anticipation. Have I got something to show you! It's an e-mail from this guy who couldn't follow Pokey Little Puppy without pictures to go with the words. I'm certain you'll get a good laugh out of it. And believe me, forcing our liberal agenda off on America will be a snap if this guy is any indication of what we're up against.

--Your fellow traveler, B.C.

Pin It
Favorite

Comments (7)

Showing 1-7 of 7

 

Comments are closed.

Readers also liked…

Calendar

Today's Pick

Learn to Curl

Latest in Bill Cope

Popular Events

  • Philip B. Garonzik Music Scholarship Fundraiser @ Riverside Hotel Sapphire Room

    • Thu., Jan. 26, 7:30 p.m. $10-$15 adv., $15-$20 door
    • Buy Tickets
  • Women's March on Idaho @ Idaho State Capitol Building

    • FREE
  • Treasure Valley Singles Dance @ Eagles Lodge Nampa

    • Sundays, 7:30-10:30 p.m. Continues through Feb. 5 $6-$7

© 2017 Boise Weekly

Website powered by Foundation