LIFE'S GOOD: DRUGS, ALCOHOL, COFFEE, CHOCOLATE and SEX • BREATHING IS OVERRATED • YOUR PET'S STOMACH IS A MONEY PIT 

LIFE'S GOOD: DRUGS, ALCOHOL, COFFEE, CHOCOLATE and SEX

This week, we have more great news for your inner contrarian. Thanks to an article called "Top 10 Bad Things That Are Good For You," here's some ammo to defend a few of your vices. Starting with number 10: beer (improves cardiovascular function); anger (moderate bursts of anger are an excellent stress reliever); coffee (seems to have various health benefits and is a good source of antioxidants); LSD (clinical studies have shown the drug helps prevent relapses in recovering alcoholics and promotes mystical experiences in "normal" people); sunlight (excellent anti-depressant and various other health benefits); maggots (prevent infections and stimulate healing on serious wounds); marijuana (can delay the onset of Alzheimer's); red wine (potent anti-cancer and artery-protecting benefits); chocolate (packed with antioxidants and wards off dementia); and the number one "bad" things which is good for you is sex, which, along with the obvious benefits, reduces stress, lowers cholesterol and improves circulation throughout the body. Read the full article at LiveScience.com.

BREATHING IS OVERRATED

While cigarettes are conspicuously absent from the "bad things that are good for you" list, I still managed to find a bit of good news for all you smokers this week. German entrepreneur Alexander Schoppmann has plans to launch the world's first smokers-only airline early next year. Smoker's International Airways (Smintair) plans to begin service with a 12-hour flight from Schoppmann's hometown of Dusseldorf to Tokyo, Japan. The airline hopes to bring back a touch of luxury to flying and will sell only first-class and business-class seats. According to Schoppmann, businessmen "simply don't travel long distances anymore because they can't smoke ... That has to be why they invented videoconferencing." (Herald Tribune)

YOUR PET'S STOMACH IS A MONEY PIT

As much as you love your pet, I bet you love your money a little bit more, which is why you should know that if you buy "gourmet" treats for your dog or cat, you are getting supremely ripped off. An investigation carried out by Urban Animal magazine found animal treats are selling for insane amounts, sometimes up to $210 per kilogram.

And no, that's not for choice cuts of prime meat, but useless chunks of meat that humans would never eat. As an example, a packet of three pig ears weighing 50 grams sells for $5.49. That's over $100 per kilogram. Lamb ears are almost as expensive, and pig snouts sell for $3.15 for a 15-gram pack, which works out to $210 per kilogram. Even the relatively inexpensive treats are actually outrageously overpriced. The report found that dried fish treats for cats cost about $33 per kilogram, which means you would save money if you fed your cat fresh king prawns. (Smh.com.au)

SURVEY SAYS!

According to surveys compiled by The Oregonian, 21 percent of Americans report being "regularly bored out of my mind"; 8 percent of Americans would let a reality-based TV show film them having sex; 19 percent of men wouldn't mind being stupid if they had a perfect body; and, according to the Weekly World News, 33 percent of prayers are "intercepted or jammed" by Satan.

THE GOOD NEWS IS YOU NOW HAVE A SEX SLAVE; THE BAD NEWS IS IT'S YOUROLD HUSBAND

The mayor of a small town in Brazil has decided to create the happiest senior citizens on Earth with a new program called Pinto Alegre (Happy Penis). The cunning plan gives the elderly residents of the town free Viagra in order to spice up their lives. "Since we started the free distribution of sexual stimulants, our elderly population changed. They're much happier," said Mayor Joao de Souza Luz. The only problem has been a sharp increase in extramarital affairs, as the men aren't always keen on using their new powers on their old wives. To solve this, the new policy gives the Viagra to the women of the town, who can now dole it out to their husbands when they want some action. (Reuters)

I-READ-IT-ON-THE-INTERNET-SO-IT-MUST-BE-TRUE FACT OF THE WEEK

Over 4 million people in the UK suffer from "toilet phobia."

Get more news at CuriousTimes.com.

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