March 22, 2006 

YOUR SOUL SUCKING JOB IS WRECKING YOUR SPERM

Research published in the journal Reproductive Toxicology reports that a desk job may be hazardous to a man's ability to produce offspring. Using special thermometers placed in research subject's underwear (try not to picture it), the "scientists" found that sitting down for more than one hour leads to a significant increase in scrotal temperatures, which may affect the quality of sperm being produced. The study concluded that men who are trying to have children should be temporarily reassigned from their desk jobs, or should get up and walk around every 30 minutes to help lower the temperature of their nuts. (The Independent)

IT TAKES BALLS TO HAVE CHILDREN

Speaking of scrotums, the United Daily News out of Taiwan reports that the newest craze for couples wishing to conceive is to eat mouse testicles. The urban legend has spread after several couples claimed success despite being diagnosed as infertile. One couple claimed to have conceived their baby less than one month after eating six kilos of raw mouse testicles. (Ananova)

CRUEL AND UNUSUAL PUNISHMENT

Check out www.prisonexp.org for pretty thorough documentation of what must be the most bizarre and notorious sociological experiment ever carried out on willing volunteers. On August 14, 1971, professors at Stanford University separated two dozen college students (who were selected from over 70 volunteers because they were considered normal, healthy, intelligent people) into groups of guards and prisoners, and set them up in a mock prison setting in order to view the psychological effects of prison life. Within a few days, the guards became increasingly sadistic, using various methods of abuse and degradation to establish control over the prisoners, and the prisoners began exhibiting all the classic symptoms of actual inmates, with increasing depression, anxiety and withdrawal. The study was ended after only six days after video footage showed that the guards were escalating their abuse of prisoners during the night when they thought the researchers weren't watching them.

JUDGING A BOOK BY IT'S TITLE

Britain's Bookseller magazine has awarded it's "Oddest Book Title of the Year" award to a book about being haunted called People Who Don't Know They're Dead: How They Attach Themselves to Unsuspecting Bystanders and What to Do About It. A close second-place finish went to the thrillingly named Rhino Horn Stockpile Management: Minimum Standards and Best Practices from East and Southern Africa. (Reuters)

NEED SOME EXCITEMENT IN YOUR LIFE?

Believe it or not, surfing for porn on the net does get boring after a while ... so if you're looking for a new hobby that might actually get you outside once in a while, check out the exciting world of sand collecting. Party on at SandCollectors.org, the official Web site of the International Sand Collectors Society.

AND PARENTHOOD FOR THOSE WHO JUST DON'T CARE

A man in Mississauga, Ontario, was stopped by police who spotted a child playing in the back seat of his car. When they pulled him over they found out why the child wasn't strapped in. Turns out the man had used the child's safety seat to secure a case of beer. (Mississauga News)

I SEE AN EXPENSIVE ORGASM IN YOUR FUTURE

A Japanese woman is making some pretty good cash reading the fortune of men by performing sexual acts on them. "Kaho," who works in a brothel in Nagoya, claims that she has foreseen future events for over 1,000 men in the past year, and has even helped one man win a huge amount of money at the racecourse. For the women in Japan, another psychic reads their futures by studying their breasts. (Mainichi Daily News)

"I-READ-IT-ON-THE-INTERNET-SO-IT-MUST-BE-TRUE" FACT OF THE WEEK

Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors.

Get waaay more bizarro news at www.curioustimes.com.

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