How do I bring up fisting to a potential partner or lover?
Dear Sex Puppet,
My first inclination is to tell you, "DON'T!" I don't mean that in a judgmental way, because I don't really care what kinkiness two consenting adults get up to. I say "DON'T" because you are going to need your body parts—whether you are talking about vaginal fisting or anal fisting—for your whole life. EVERY DAY FOR YOUR WHOLE LIFE! Fisting falls into an extreme category of sex and fetishism and, while I have no philosophical problem with the idea, it certainly isn't my cup of tea. That said, I do worry about people and their health. Laceration or perforation of these delicate areas is a very valid concern and can lead to infections that can cause major complications and yes, even death. All sex has risk, but I want you to take into consideration your physical desire to explore this activity versus the risk that it presents. If you absolutely must do this, please take all precautions necessary including the use of latex gloves, generous use of lube and establishing a safe word. Now that I told you that, might I suggest you get with your partner and come up with individual lists of kinky interests, combine them and have a good time talking about what you are and are not interested in trying. Exploring each other's interests is definitely fun, so make it a tantalizing date night game.