Minerva's Breakdown 

Advice for those on the verge

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Dear Minerva,

Why do you think relationships aren't lasting for the long-term in our modern age?

Sincerely,

—Longevity vs. Brevity

Dear LVB,

I think there are two main reasons. First, people are no longer looking to a romantic relationship or marriage as a sole means of fulfillment. The Sexual Revolution has allowed people to take a less traditional approach to relationships, which allows people to find their own path to fulfillment in such a way that a relationship now augments their lives rather than defines their lives. When it no longer augments their lives, then it can be ended. Second, people don't feel the same pressure to work on their relationships. Many opt not to "fix" the things that are "broken," work through problems and "for better or worse" doesn't seem logical when it's easier to be free. Whether this is good or bad is a matter of debate. What I will say is that I think it is absolutely vital that people have the ability to be free from a relationship. Many, many people were married until one of the people died because they were essentially trapped in a relationship where one was dependent on the other. I believe the quality of the relationship is far more important than the longevity—even if my old-fashioned girl's heart longs for one of those milestone relationships of yore. Who wants to be miserable with someone just because of "'til death do us part"? There is no shame in seeking happiness.

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