Lisa Marie Certain is alive.
The preceding message came as a surprise to police in Augusta, Kentucky, who were given Certain's inscribed "Class of '84" high school ring by a fisherman who found it inside a catfish. According to a story from the Post Register in Columbus, Ohio, the town where Certain went to high school, Augusta police chief Greg Cummins feared the worst when he found the ring--and when Certain's alumni Web site listed her as "Missing in action." But before turning Kentucky upside-down (as if anyone would know the difference), Cummins sent a high school photo of Certain to Columbus news stations. It turns out Certain, who lives in Ammon, Idaho, had changed her name to "Peterson" to sound more like some guy she married. After hearing about her MIA status from an intrepid TV reporter who called her at home, Peterson called Cummins. He mailed the ring the next day.
"My life is just very suburban," mused Peterson. "It was fun to be thought of as a 'missing person' for a little while."