November 30, 2005 

ALIENS ARE SENDING YOU A MESSAGE, AND THE MESSAGE IS THIS: TIME TO GET A REAL JOB

If you've ever wanted to instantly become the world's leading crop circle expert, here's your chance. The current champ, Colin Andrews, is broke and trying to auction off his massive 20-plus-year collection of Crop Circle research material at eBay. Andrews, author of the world's first-ever book on the subject, Circular Evidence, has collected over 35,000 photographs, 650 videotapes, and at least 3,000 books and publications. The offer also includes the transfer of all worldwide copyrights on material owned by Andrews. "I am sure this is one of the most profound phenomenon of our time," says the blurb at eBay. "Universal energy interactions may be at work and the interface between two dimensions register spectacular patterns of great meaning and such depth as man can yet imagine." The entire package is up for bids with a starting price of $250,000. Not surprisingly, not a single offer has yet been made.

NO CHANCE OF GETTING ANY PRETTIER NOW

Sad news out of California this week, where Sam, the ugliest dog in the world (no, really ... check it out at www.SamUgliestDog.com) passed on to that Great Extreme Makeover Show in the Sky. Sam became a celebrity thanks to his hideous looks, easily winning the World's Ugliest Dog competition three years in a row. (Associated Press)

MONEY BUYS HAPPINESS AFTER ALL

A survey of over 4,000 Japanese men and women found that money does indeed seem to make people happier, with respondents claiming higher levels of happiness directly correlated to how much money they made. However, the happiness level of the highest income bracket actually dropped among the very richest. "It seems when people are satisfied with their income, other factors then matter more," concluded the researchers who conducted this survey. (Reuters)

CRIME DOES PAY SOMETIMES

A woman in England who had her debit card stolen was more than a bit surprised to find that her bank balance was actually going up instead of down. It seems that the person who stole her card used it to go bet on the horses, and the bookie has a system whereby winnings are directly deposited into your account. By the time police got involved and figured out what had happened, the "victim" of the crime had made $445. (London Times)

WHAT'S THE OPPOSITE OF TITILLATING?

Looking for a bland old time? Head on down to Singapore, the only nation which can hold a sex exhibition without actually showing anything sexual. Police warned the organizers of Sexpo 2005, Singapore's first-ever sexual conference, not to promote "objectionable sexual behaviors or lifestyle, such as sado-masochism, bestiality, homosexuality, pedophilia and promiscuity." OK, fair enough ... but the interpretation of that warning meant that the sex show was left without whips, handcuffs, penis rings, inflatable dolls or anything else even mildly interesting. Instead, hard-up Singaporeans were left to gaze in wonder at condoms, lingerie, vibrators and sexual health seminars. Yawn ... (Reuters)

BECAUSE IT'S THERE

A 30-year-old Australian man has won the first-ever race to the top of Taipei 101, the world's tallest skyscraper. Paul Crake, who is a five-time winner of a similar race up to the top of the Empire State Building, finished the 91-floor, 390-meter vertical climb in a mere 10 minutes and 29 seconds to take the $6,000 prize. (Agence-France Press)

THE FIRST RULE OF FIGHT CLUB IS ... DON'T EVER MAKE A MUSICAL ABOUT FIGHT CLUB

From the "Say It Isn't So" department comes news from Playbill magazine, which claims that Chuck Palahniuk's brilliant novel (and movie) Fight Club may be turned into a Broadway musical. Let's hope that Chuck is just messing with our minds ...

"I READ IT ON THE INTERNET SO IT MUST BE TRUE" FACT OF THE WEEK

The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.

Get waaay more bizarro news at www.curioustimes.com.

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