October 6-12 2004 

IT AIN'T OVER TILL THE PSYCHIC DOGS BARK

Sorry to have to break the news to you, but it looks like George Bush will indeed be re-elected for another term in office. No doubt about it, as I get my news from the highest of sources, Jacqueline Stallone's psychic dogs. Laugh all you want, but Sylvester Stallone's mom and her two psychic pets were the only psychics to correctly predict the outcome of the last U.S. election. In 2000, the dogs predicted that Bush would win with a very slim margin of only a couple hundred votes. This time, the psychic mutts project a much more resounding Bush victory, with a margin of around 15 percent. According to Jacqueline, the dogs "channel messages from the spirit world and telepathically send them to me." The dogs also predict Arnold Schwarzenegger will be running for president in 2008. (remoteviewer.nu)

NEVER FORGET THAT HITLER WAS VOTED INTO POWER

So if those psychic dogs are correct, it looks like we have at least another four years of fascist rule to look forward to. Did I say fascist? Check out www.oldamericancentury.com, which tracks the fascist tendencies of the Bush administration in 14 categories shared by all fascist regimes. The categories are based on the research of political scientist Dr. Lawrence Britt, who lays out the identifying characteristics shared by such charming political leaders as Hitler, Mussolini, Franco, Suharto and Pinochet. Not surprisingly, the Bush presidency shares many of these hallmarks, including extreme nationalism, disdain for human rights, identifying scapegoats, belief in the supremacy of the military, rampant sexism, controlling the mass media, protecting corporate power, suppressing labor power, and holding fraudulent elections, among a few others. Check out the detailed analysis and links to news stories that point to these shortcomings of the Bush administration at www.oldamericancentury.com/14pts.htm

THE MOTHER OF ALL MORONS

And one more from the fascists files. In a turn of events that ranks right up there with the most bizarre political moments of all time, Saddam Hussein has expressed his desire to run for president in the coming Iraqi elections. Speaking for his client, Hussein's lawyer Giovanni di Stefano told a Dutch newspaper that the former Iraqi dictator has decided to try to regain his presidency and palaces through the democratic process. Stefano explained that since there is not enough time to bring Hussein to trial before the Iraqi election, technically he is not convicted of any crime, therefore there is no international law preventing him from putting his name on the ballot. Furthermore, Saddam's lawyer claimed that the chaotic situation in Iraq favors his client, citing recent polls which indicate that as many as 42 percent of Iraqis would like to have their former leader back. (zaman.org)

URINE TROUBLE

Cancer researchers at Amersham Hospital in the United Kingdom have discovered a new tool in their fight against cancer: urine-sniffing dogs. According to research published in the British Medical Journal, scientists have found that dogs can identify bladder cancer by detecting certain chemicals in urine that are emitted by cancerous cells. Dr. Carolyn Willis and her team trained six dogs to identify the cancerous chemicals in the urine samples of 108 healthy volunteers and 36 bladder cancer patients. The dogs had an average success rate of 41 percent, giving hope to researchers that further refinement of the tests and training techniques could create an important role for the cancer-finding dogs in the future diagnosis of patients. They are also planning to find ways to use the dogs' smelling ability to identify other types of cancer. (MSNBC)

AND NO MORE DRY HUMPING AFTER A GOAL

Officials in Nigeria are trying to stem the tide of what they call "too gay" hairstyles among their soccer players. In response to a recent trend of top stars who have begun braiding their hair and wearing earrings, Nigerian sports administrator Ahmed Lawan went so far as to call for lengthy suspensions for anyone expressing behavior that is "culturally unacceptable" or "promoted homosexuality." A government official backed up the call for suspensions, and urged soccer players to revert to a more natural look, reminding them, "in the developing world the braiding of hair and earrings have a sense of homosexuality." (thisislondon.com) :

Get waaaay more bizarre news at www.curioustimes.com.

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