I had lunch at Rockies Famous Burgers with my little bro Brady and my pal Jared. We had just pulled into town from Stanley and we were two things: hot and hungry. Hot as in the temperature. Hungry as in I was about to go overboard.
We pulled up to Rockies and seconds later, our waitress Jaimee came gliding out to our car on rollerskates. That's the thing you always hear about Rockies-they deliver your food on skates. It's a nostalgia nod. There are other waves to the past around the diner: An oldies DJ spins on the weekends, the decor looks American Graffiti-esque and vintage automobile collectors have a tendency to assemble there. Our waitress came with a modern-day edge, though-a nose ring, something I doubt was common attire for skating servers of yesteryear. Jaimee handed us menus, my little brother made a wise-crack about the skates, and then I started ordering big time: Sourdough melt, large fry, root beer and the main course-large chili cheese fries.
A few minutes later, Jaimee skated our food to us, made sure we were set, and strolled off. We couldn't take the heat in the car anymore so we went over to some picnic tables set off to the side of the parking lot. I started eating everything in sight. I polished off my sourdough melt and fries fast. Then I started scarfing huge bites of chili-cheese fries in between gulps of root beer. I slowed down only to give Brady's gyro a try. I winced. Not that it wasn't good, it's just that the surplus of tzatziki on the thing didn't go well with the chili and cheese I was inhaling.
The food was flavorful and addictive. The combination of seasonings and grease were no match for my willpower. "This food would be the magic elixir for a hangover," Jared said while I was eating his tots. Minutes later, I felt hung over. It felt like Thanksgiving, except the turkey was deep fried and the mashed potatoes were actually tots. And oh yeah, it wasn't chilly November, it was searing August. I had planned on getting a milkshake ... but the chili cheese fries made my decision for me. I needed to lie down. I'm not sure what happened after Rockies. The next thing I knew, I woke up in my bed. It was dark outside, and I felt punchdrunk and woozy.
-Ryan Peck chews his food properly only in West Virginia.