Rum Dumb Thoughts 

Little House Trailer on the Prairie

I was hoping like crazy that by the end of the year, I'd figure out what this West Ada School District stink is really about, if for no other reason than to know whose recall petition I should be signing. There's something there beyond what we've heard, I just know it!... something that has to do with sinister forces crawling about like venomous centipedes under a cover of rotting vegetation, bent on injecting another dose of poisonous ideology into the public education system. So far, all I can find out is that in a school district with 55,000 plus registered voters catering to more than 35,000 students, a measly 2,065 people got off their fat West Ada butts and voted in those trustee races—and that includes the votes for the winners and the losers. Pit.i.ful!

Anyway, I'm committed to figuring this out, so while I'm doing that, I'm going throw some "Randem Thinkings" on the turntable and let MulletBoy fill out the rest of today's column.

•••

Whooy-Dawg! I'm going over to Coloradio, what you think about that? We be leaving tommorow morning, me and Ripster. I ain't never been there before and neither has Rip but according to Honey Bug, who ain't thinks we ought be going anyway, Colorado won't be that hard to find. She says as long as we stay on the Inertstate over to some place called Shy Annie wyoming, then hang a right, we should ought to get there without getting lost.

The best part is, when we come back, we're gonig to be hauling a brand new free used fifth wheel. Yeah! What you think about that! Whooy Dawg, I always wanted me one of those. Good fifht wheel and you can go nearly ever where and live on next to nothing if you park it somewheres where you can blow the toilet tank without nobody bitching. I could get my rig running again and Honey Bug and me we haul it off to places like Flordia and Mexico, and all we'd have to pay for is sloppy Joe mix and the buns to slop it on.

Only deal is, this fifth wheel will be only half mine and the other half'll be Rips, and I dont think it'd be very good to have Honey Bug and me and Rip all living in a fifth wheel together down in Florida or Mexico or anywheres else. That's why Honey Bug ain't going to Colorado with us. She said "No way I'm gonna be stuck in a truck with your farthead cousin for a thousand miles. I'd probably end up stabbing him in the ear with a fingernail file." and that's probably true. She hates Rip worse than she hates when the cat pukes on the kitchen counter. It scares me to think what would happen if we all lived together in a fifth wheel for longer thn ten minutes.

Anyway, hears what happened. When I come home from work, Rip's sitting in the driveway letting his truck idle because he's might not get it started again if he turns it off, and he says "Guess what I heard?" and since he dont like it when I don't at least try to guess, I says "Goats." Rip twists his face up like he just found a dead mouse in his mouth and says "Wha"? and I say "Well, I know you don't herd horses and you don't herd cows. So it must be goats what you herd."

By the time we got inside, ol' Rip figured out the joke, but didn't think it was funny. "This is serious, Cuz!" he says "There's a 20-some-foot trailer with no one in it sitting on a hill in Coloraido, and if we don't get there and claim it for ourselfs, some'n else will!" So I was ready to leave right then and there, but I figured we should wait for Honey Bug to get home. Tuned out to be a good thing we did, since I get Colorado mixed up with Canada and Rip thought it was somewheres the other side of Oregon.

Well Honey Bug wanted to know why there was a free fifth wheel sitting over in Coloraido on a hill, so Rip says "It belongs to that old boy what shot up that Plant Parenthoods place, but he ain't never gonta live in it anymore." and I thought Honey Bug was going to choke or something. "You idiots want to steal a trailer what belongst to a murdering nut job?" she yells, and Rip came right back with an answer like he'd thought it out already, "Hey, missy!" he says "Dont blame the trailer for what the dude who lives in it did. Fifth wheels dont kill people. People kill people! And besides, we ain't stealing it. We're savlaging it. Like what sailers do when they find an old ship floating around with no one on it."

I said "Yeah, Honey Bug. We'd just be savlaging it." and she looks at me like she was wondering what she ever saw in me, and she says "okay you idiots, go get your trailer if you have to, but don't count me in. And when you come back, don't expect me to clean it up or nothing."

So soon as it warms up enough to get Rip's truck started morrow morning, we're headed out. I got 40 bucks out of the EMT sos we should be good on gas and eating. I'll be letting you know soon as we get back that we got back. Rips already talking about parking it out on the front lawn and living in it sos he doesn't have so far to drive when he comes over, but Honey Bug says no way in hell...

OK, that pretty well fills the space. Hey, I'll let you know if I come up with anything on this trustees/centipedes deal. Frankly, I think it all goes back to when they changed the name from "Meridian" School District to "West Ada" School District. Should have told those Eagle and Star snoots to go start their own damn district if they didn't like ours. Oh well... hindsight, huh?

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