Stephen Colbert to graduates of the University of Virginia:
“The most impressive ranking of all has to be Playboy once again naming you the No. 1 party school in America. Now to be clear, I only read Playboy for the rankings.”
Eric Idle to graduates of Whitman College:
"This is not so much a commencement as the end of the good bit. At college it’s a bit like being caset out of paradise. From now on, it’s all debts and taxes and death and jobs, marriages and divorces and money problems. It’s a mess out there."
President Barack Obama to graduates of Morehouse College:
"Some of you are graduating summa cum laude, some of you are graduating magna cum laude, and I know some of you are just graduating, 'Thank you, lordy.'"