CITIZEN BILL'S BILL NO. 001--
AN ACT RELATING TO USE OF THE CAPITOL MALL AND OTHER STATE PROPERTIES SUBJECT TO THE PREJUDICES, WHIMS, SCHEMES AND/OR BULLYING OF ANY PERSON OR PERSONS WHO ARE BEHAVING AS THOUGH THEY AND THEY ALONE ARE ENTITLED TO OCCUPY SAID PROPERTIES WHILE OTHERS ARE NOT;
TO PROVIDE FOR THE PROHIBITING OF CERTAIN PERSONS OR GROUP OF PERSONS WHO OCCUPY AFOREMENTIONED STATE PROPERTIES THEMSELVES ONLY BY VIRTUE OF HAVING BEEN ELECTED TO OFFICE BY A HANDFUL OF RUBES AND HICKS RESIDING IN FAR CORNERS OF THE STATE OF IDAHO WITH RIDICULOUS NAMES LIKE "OAKLEY" FROM INTERFERING IN THE FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION OF ANY OTHER PERSON OR GROUP OF PERSONS.
SECTION 1: OUTLINING THE INTENT OF CITIZEN BILL'S BILL: Whereas recent history has demonstrated with amplitude, certain officials and majority-party bosses have come to regard themselves to be definers and enforcers of the general morality, intellectual limits and commonweal, chosen not merely by the rubes and hicks who voted for them, but as indicated by their sanctimonious attitudes by the Lord God Almighty, who in His providence has furnished what seems to be an endless supply of rube and hick voters, it is incumbent upon citizens with opposing visions to make their voices heard in whatever manner best represents and reflects their grievances;
Whereas the ever-growing opposition to the ruling class and accompanying hop-toadial political sector is most painfully aware that there is in Idaho even more so than elsewhere an alarming collusion between those who derive their power through wealth and those who derive their power through government sanction, it is most sensical and eminently symbolic for that opposition to take their democratic protests to the same properties on which the aforementioned collusion is arranged, paid for and consummated, just as any vice squad would look for pimps and hookers in a place where pimps and hookers are known to frequent;
Whereas the purpose of such an occupation would be to demonstrate not only to the most powerful denizens of Idaho but even more importantly to the least powerful that those landmarks of our democracy--to wit: the Capitol building, the Capitol Mall, along with all other state-owned grounds and facilities--belong jointly by virtue of citizenship to every man, woman and child in Idaho, that contrary to what certain twerps and weenies--including but not exclusive to the weenie twerp who sponsored the bill to eject the Occupy Boise protest from said grounds, to wit, Assistant Majority Leader Rep. Scott Bedke (R-Oakley)--would have us think, shared and equal ownership of said grounds and facilities belongs to all Idahoans, including but not exclusive to Democrats, Unitarians, drinkers, smokers, middle-class working schlubbs, students, Wiccans, hippies, Lutherans, food-stamp recipients, single mothers, Mexican-Americans, non-Mormons, non-Nazarenes, people who never vote for a Republican, people who never vote, union members, homeless people, people who lost their homes because of Republican mismanagement and malfeasance, people who lost their jobs because of Republican mismanagement and malfeasance, and people who have no respect whatsoever for pompous legislative assistant majority weenies from ridiculous places like Oakley, every bit as much as they belong to members of the state's ruling class, including but not exclusive to the lobbyists, lawyers, corporate schemers, boot-lickers, favor-seekers, fawning sycophants, back-scratchers, good ol' boys, drunkards, skirt chasers, connivers and cronies who are to be found in greatest concentration occupying the aforementioned citizen-owned properties during the course of any and all legislative sessions.
SECTION 2: OUTLINING THE PRESCRIBED PENALTIES FOR VIOLATIONS OUTLINED IN SECTION 1: Whereas the intent of this act shall be to identify the person and/or persons who have conspired to deprive the citizens of Idaho (to wit: Occupy Boise) access to the people's property (to wit: the grounds identified as the Old Ada County Courthouse) as well as denying said citizens their self-evident right to express their opposition in a logical setting and symbolic manner;
Whereas a certain pompous legislative assistant majority weenie (to wit: Rep. Scott Bedke) has taken it upon himself to deny the aforementioned group of co-owners from their rightful occupation of their own property, it is our duty and privilege as citizens of the state of Idaho to remind the aforementioned pompous legislative assistant majority weenie that the Occupy Boise protest undoubtedly has by many multiples more citizen support in the capital city than his sorry Oakley ass, which sits in the Legislature by virtue of 8,800 measly votes from the previous election in which he had no opposing candidate;
Moreover, to establish that all those aiding and abetting in this reprehensible conspiracy against citizens of Idaho are henceforth to be denied access to those same properties and will be ejected posthaste in a kind and gentle, but firm, manner from any and all properties belonging to the citizens of Idaho;
Moreover, the citizens of Idaho demand that Rep. Bedke be ejected from our properties and denied any further access to state facilities until he apologizes for being such a provincial little puke and rescinds his vicious attack on better citizens than he'll ever be.