Teat-Enhancing Substances Stolen 

Police in Cassia County are looking for the thief or thieves who stole $45,000 worth of a bovine growth hormone that helps cow give more milk. According to a story in the Southern Idaho Press, the culprits ran off with 90 boxes of BST-Posilac, a controversial drug that has been banned in Europe and Canada, from Wybenga Dairy. Sheriff's investigator Jay Heward told the Press the incident was "a really major theft," and said that he expected the responsible party might use the stolen goods to milk the system. "We don't really have any suspects, so we want to know if anyone contacts area dairy farmers with a deal to buy the drug," he said.

We have to admit, it's a fun case on which to play amateur sleuth. Does the drug resale theory float, or is this the work of a heretofore unheard of band of organic terrorists? Or maybe, just maybe, this is just a case of some early Christmas shopping on the part of an eager-to-please husband. Just crumble the lactation stimulants and put it in her food--it's cheaper than that boob job she's always asking for.

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