The Perfect Costume Alternative 

Stay clothed and don't look like a moron this Halloween with a chic vintage T.

Trick-or-treating has gone downhill. Honestly, what happened to the good old days when you could walk up to the homes of strangers, perform some adorable feat and receive a delicious confection, without worrying if there's a razor blade or cyanide inside?

The tradition of costume-clad candy begging has been belittled and confined to parking lots and malls. Candy has to be investigated before kids can indulge in a sugar high, and there's a ton of skepticism surrounding anything that isn't mass-produced and pre-wrapped.

If you miss the days of fun, possibly dangerous trick-or-treating, you can display your sense of nostalgia with True Vintage Designs' throwback Halloween T-shirt. The uber-comfy American Apparel cotton will put you at ease, as the circa-1960 trick-or-treat bag design reflects your desire for the Halloweens of yesteryear.

It's also an awesome alternative to running around downtown nearly naked and freezing off that ass you've been toning in preparation for a great whoreloween outing. Or maybe you've racked your brain for a witty, original and exceptionally hilarious costume idea, and then realized that there are a lot more important things to spend your workday thinking about—like work. If you want to go more vintage-hipster-chic than trashy or shtick, this T may be the right alternative for you.

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