The Quotable Bush 

We're trying to be good little journalists about President Bush's recent visit to Nampa and Tama-GARVEE Resort. We promise not make fun of the way he spoke ("Yer;" "dudn't;" "hunnert; "terrah"), or the way he stumbled over every number in his script, or how he coughed when he took a drink of a mystery liquid halfway through the speech, or how he kept making promises about what his administration is "working to ensure," for soldiers rather than what it has done to help them, or how the AP reported how he kicked Dirk Kempthorne's debt-and-hair-restoration-product-laden ass on the bike trails, or any of the other things we just made fun of. Neither are we going to mine our local pundits for their responses-read the letters section for that. Instead, we're providing-free of charge-an objective, portable Quote-o-Matic recap of Bush's Nampa address. Clip it, put it on your fridge, and next time you feel a political spar-fest coming on, line it up side-by-side with our Quotable Howard Dean (BW, News Shorts, July 19), and let the sophistic sparks fly.

• On history: "We have on our side the greatest force for freedom in the history of the world: the brave men and women of the United States Armed Forces." (ed: "Take that, 'Prince of Peace!'")

• On terrorists: "They might be in America, trying to hurt you."

• On the future: "So long as I am president, we will stay, we will fight and we will win the war on terror."

• On diplomacy: "America will not wait to be attacked again. Our doctrine is clear: We will confront emerging threats before they fully materialize."

• On the environment: "The only way to protect our citizens where we live is to go after the terrorists where they live."

• On the economy: "We'll stay on the hunt until the terrorists have nowhere to run and nowhere to hide."

• On the energy crisis: "When the terrorists spend their days and nights struggling to avoid death or capture, they are less capable of arming and training and plotting new attacks on America ... and the rest of the free world."

• On the popularity of realty TV: "American and Iraqi forces are on the hunt, side by side to defeat the terrorists."

• On skyrocketing oil prices: "For the sake of our children and our grandchildren, the terrorists will be defeated."

• On steroids in baseball: "If the terrorists were to win in Iraq, the free world would be more vulnerable to attack on innocent civilians."

• On accusations that the administration does not treat soldiers with dignity: "We're working to ensure that you and your families are treated with the respect you deserve."

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