This Little Piggy Went to the Liquor Store is a collection of Turner's musings on parenthood wrapped into the story of how she became a parent despite her original dream of being a secret agent.
If the text is to be believed, Turner takes the same approach to parenting that Motley Crue took to touring: get drunk and fuck shit up. Readers are introduced to the linguistic oddities of Turner's extended family and her philosophy on the gender politics that invade birthday party bounce houses.
But This Little Piggy Went to the Liquor Store isn't told in a linear narrative like a traditional memoir. Instead it's more of a pastiche of memories and musings. And similar to a celebrity biography, it operates on the assumption that you already know Turner and are interested in the grammatical eccentricities of her in-laws.
But despite Turner's Too Fast for Love parenting style, she is no Nikki Sixx, and the book can easily leave readers asking why they're reading about this drunk lady they've never met.
Luckily, the book makes up for it by being very funny. Chapters include "Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Serial Killers" and "I Like My Ovaries Frozen."
In the end, This Little Piggy Went to the Liquor Store is a memoir of an experience in progress, something which limits the story arc. Turner's children are still young and the closest thing to a conclusion is an acceptance that having kids isn't the end of the world. Perhaps it's the mark of a writer who simply needed a subject. Or perhaps it's a collection of experiences so bizarre Turner could not live without committing them to paper. Either way, it's a fun read from a local author who dishes chuckles by the six-pack.