What're you looking at, Clark Camenga? Zoning out a bit, are ye? Perhaps you're wondering what's hopping over on the 6200 block of North Park Meadow, which up until your arrest was gaining a reputation as the swingingest cul de sac in all of western Ada County.
"How swinging was it?!" our randy readers shriek. Tweren't near so swinging as, say, Hidden Springs, perhaps. But over the last month, North Park Meadow has proven dangling, er, swinging enough to make its way onto the erotic radar of the Boise Police Department on seven different occasions. Each time, residents complained that a strange man was exposing himself to suburbia. Resolute not to allow an eighth such incident to occur on their watch, the department assigned a bevy of female plainclothes officers to stake out North Park Meadow last Thursday. Lo and behold, the officers spotted Camenga removing a towel from his midriff at 9:35 p.m., when he should have been home watching Stephen Fry starring in Kingdom on PBS. They arrested him and charged him with indecent exposure.
El Bandito de VHS
An elderly Cleveland Browns fan is the main suspect in a robbery at Video Mexico on Fairview Avenue last Thursday afternoon just before 2 p.m. Or maybe, police say, the robber was wearing an "old man"-style Halloween mask and brown and orange sweatshirt, and he just happened to share the approximate physical proportions of the standard Cleveland Browns fan, at 5-feet, 5-inches, 220 pounds. Then again, even if this author had been in the Video Mexico (not an altogether unlikely prospect, given my current fondness with the lesser films of Guillermo Del Toro), I probably wouldn't have been able to tell which of the above interpretations is correct. The reasons: The suspect never showed a weapon, it was the day after Halloween, and he probably didn't use subtitles when he demanded cash in Spanish before leaving in a blue Ford sedan. Police urge anyone with information to call Crime Stoppers at 208-343-COPS.
Let's Go Wedding
Kimberly Cooper, the Idaho Falls woman who made national headlines for allegedly stealing gifts from two weddings in the same day, has pleaded guilty to felony burglary. On Sept. 15, according to the plea, Cooper snuck into a wedding in IF with her 12-year-old daughter and took it upon herself to act as the Present Police, relieving the happy couple of a few patently unimaginative gift cards and leaving them with the ostensible "good" presents, presumably tater-tot casserole dishes and macrame toilet seat covers. Here's the trouble: "unimaginative" gifts are worth their weight in ... well, money, and as such, police were quickly on the lookout when Cooper spent the cards the next day. Cooper is scheduled to face sentencing in Bonneville County Court on Dec. 3, and she could also still face similar charges in neighboring Jefferson County, where a Rigby couple is accusing her of a similar crime. Also this week, local newsies in Bonneville County received a tip from a couple in Jackson Hole, Wyo. that Cooper previously served six months in the clink circa 2003 for pulling an identical scheme at their wedding.
Licenses: A Necessary Evil
Take it from someone who should know better: Letting your driver's license expire is an easy and fun way to add a little spice to the daily commute. What was once the most boring half-hour of the morning becomes a real-live video game when every policeman is a legitimate threat to your—that is to say, my (see: "Collias: Three Times a Thug," BW, True Crime, Oct. 6 2006)—status as a law-abiding citizen. That said, like any good game, this one operates in levels—of risk, of punishment and of certainty that you'll get busted if anyone notices what you're up to.
Meet Gary Engman, 56, a former Bellevue, Wash. resident who will spend a year and a day in prison after pleading guilty to illegally flying a twin-engine Cessna from the Hailey airport to Baker City, Ore. in April 2006. Upon arriving and being questioned by Baker City authorities, Engman fibbed that he had left his airman's certificate at home. In actuality, he had only ever received a student pilot certificate, and even that had expired 11 years prior to his flight. After his grilling, Engman reportedly obtained a new certificate, backdating it to the same day as his flight. Alas, the fuzz soon were on Engman's tail, a situation that was further complicated by Engman's fondness for another kind of cat-and-mouse game: i.e., he hadn't filed federal income taxes in four years, despite owning and operating four lumber stores in Idaho, Wyoming and Montana.
Lewdness is Afoot
And now for the question that has been plaguing Idahoans for nigh on one week: Is it OK to laugh at Nate Schierman? The obvious answer in this post-To Catch a Predator world is: No, of course not. He's a witch—let's burn him! Witch! Burn! Blargh!
Schierman, an allegedly famous 26-year-old singer-songwriter from Coeur d'Alene, was arrested last week for sexual abuse after police say he paid several underage girls in exchange for allowing him to gratify his foot-fetish by massaging their nubile tootsies and "borrowing" their stinky socks. The girls, perhaps not surprisingly, responded positively to the well-groomed balladeer when he began peeling off $5s and $20s and phrasing his requests in terms of a "scavenger hunt" he was trying to win. One teen even reportedly pocketed a Benjamin in exchange for a foot rub on Sept. 20, but she amscrayed mid-massage when Schierman unexpectedly started playing a very naughty kind of air-guitar solo on the front of his pants. Police in Coeur d'Alene announced on Oct. 30 that they received an anonymous tip last week fingering Shierman in a series of recent enticement incidents. He allegedly refused to comment when questioned at his home by police, but after his arrest, officers found a designer sock in his yard. Apparently only fresh ones make it into the house.
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