Boise Box-Birds Finger Failed Felon 

Hey you, Mister Prospective Bank Robber. Stop making that phony bomb out of Legos and listen up for a second. You may think it's easy to rob banks in Boise. We at BW may have even given you that impression, and not necessarily by accident (see: BW, True Crime, "Cake-Boy Robs Bank with $2 'Bomb,'" May 18 2005, last line: "Really, it's just that easy, folks."). But here's the truth, sucker: Boise is a primed crime-stopping machine with eyes on every corner. If we don't have the authority to arrest you ourselves, sure as shoot we'll find somebody who does--and when they do, may Gawd have mercy on your soul.

Kenneth Patrick McDonald found out the truth the hard way. The 40-year-old city slicker from Seattle was arrested for allegedly attempting to rob the Wells Fargo at Collister and State streets last Thursday, but all he really allegedly managed to do was allegedly spring the trap that allegedly bit him in his alleged ass.

At about 10:28 a.m., give or take a few seconds, witnesses say a man moseyed into the bank with what looked like a gun in his waistband. He demanded money, but because of some undisclosed security measures, he was not able to get any (it's rumored that the measures include fake money that shoots bees out of the dead presidents' eye sockets). The suspect left the bank on foot, but he didn't get far before two women in the alley behind the bank saw him, and you'd better believe they got a hankerin' for some snoopin' and followed him to his car.

"We'd been back in the alley looking for boxes, we are moving, and we saw a suspicious man run by us and we thought maybe he was a security guard, and he was all dressed in black," said Dana Pence, one of the women, to KTVB Channel 7 (BTW: It's OK, Dana. You don't have to make excuses. We all need boxes.) The women sent the suspect's license number to the authorities, and just 31 minutes later, Ada County Sheriffs deputy spotted it driving through a neighborhood in Meridian. McDonald was arrested at the scene and charged with robbery.

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