Dear Minerva,

I have a friend who is always bragging about their good deeds, the charities they contribute to and the things that they do for other people. Sometimes this person even goes so far as to divulge names or post long "look at the good I do" Facebook posts about it. I think it is tacky. She disagrees. What say you?

Ms. Discreet

Dear Ms. Discreet,

Brace yourself. I'm busting out a Bible verse. Matthew 6:3, "But when you do merciful deeds, don't let your left hand know what your right hand does." One of my biggest pet peeves is not when people admit that they are charitable of heart, but when they need others to praise them for it. If one has done a good deed with adulation in mind for themselves, they have done it for the wrong reasons. I see it on Facebook, too. The posts are screaming for attention. Add any mention of the person who has been helped or worse, picture of that person, and you've successfully gone from being a respectable, charitable person to one who has stripped another person of their pride. Do your giving and good-deed-doing privately and watch the blossoms of your good work without needing the praise of others. Sure, be involved in charitable organizations. Promote their events. Participate. Celebrate. That's OK. Avoid the high horse of self-righteous boasting. It's not a good look for anyone. Those in need are humans, too. One day the tables could be turned.

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