Curious Times April 7, 2004 

IT'S THE ECONOMY, STUPID

Check out a very fascinating article at www.progress.org titled "10 Things You Don't Know About Terrorism." In it, Loretta Napoleoni, author of the book Modern Jihad: Tracing the Dollars Behind the Terror Networks, argues that global terrorism is now and has always been a huge mafia-style business and has been allowed to run rampant because of the huge profits being made by those at the tops of the networks (including many westerners and Americans, of course). Among the ten things you don't know about terrorism are these nuggets: America and the Soviet Union privatized most terrorist cells during the cold war in order to reduce the price of fighting covert wars; the "terror economy" is bigger than the GDP of the United Kingdom and is growing faster than the US economy; money laundering schemes which fund terrorists actually prop up western capitalism with huge reserves of cash; 9/11 was one of the greatest insider-trading events in modern history; and terrorism is such good business that nobody really wants to eradicate it. Get all the details at http://www.progress.org/2004/napo03.htm

AND YOU THOUGHT SHE WAS JUST PLAYING HARD TO GET

Okay guys, listen up ... The next time a woman you meet in a chat room tells you she wants you to come over and rape her in order to fulfill some twisted fantasy, do yourself a huge favor and make sure you get the address right. Duh! Not heeding this most obvious of advice is going to cost a Californian man a year in prison after he met a woman in a chat room and set up a "rape fantasy" encounter which would have the man break into her home and have his way with her. Unfortunately, the man broke into the wrong apartment and tried to rape a woman who had no idea who he was and proceeded to fight back by viciously attacking his testicles (you go girl!). The man then stopped the attack and after a few awkward moments he realized the incredible gaffe he had made. (Reuters)

LACK OF TOURISTS EXPLAINED

Beware the unscrupulous travel agent who sold you those tickets to Molvania. Despite the recently published travel guide, which calls it "the land untouched by modern dentistry," the small Eastern European country does not actually exist. "It's a bit of a practical joke that got out of hand," said Tom Gleisner, one of authors of the guide, which is actually a spoof of more traditional travel guides. According to the book, Molvania is the spiritual home of the polka and whooping cough, and includes must-see tourist destinations such as a circa-1950s nuclear reactor complete with cracked walls and a zoo which houses 1,000 animals all crammed into one cage. The guidebook also includes a few handy Molvanian phrases such as "Sprufki Doh Craszko," which means "What is that smell," and "Togurfga trakij sdonchskia," which translates as "What happened to your teeth?" (Reuters)

SO DROP OUT OF COLLEGE AND START BANGING AWAY

A German researcher from the Hamburg Medical Research Institute claims that regular sex makes people more intelligent. According to his research, increased amounts of adrenaline and cortisol hormones stimulate your brain during sex, potentially increasing your intelligence, while an added injection of endorphins and serotonin during an orgasm helps strengthens your self-confidence. (iol.co.za)

ACID DROPPERS DROPPING

A team of researchers at the University of Michigan which has been tracking the illicit drug habits of America's high-school students since 1975 has discovered an enormous drop in the popularity of LSD amongst today's youths. As recently as 2001, 6.6 percent of high school seniors reported dropping acid. This figure fell to 3.5 percent in 2002, and plummeted to 1.9 in 2003. While the Federal Drug Enforcement Agency is taking credit for the demise of LSD, claiming that two arrests in November of 2000 reduced the LSD supply by up to 95 percent, most analysts agree that the decline of LSD began the day Jerry Garcia died in 1995. Apparently, the traveling roadshow of the Grateful Dead was the glue that kept the nation's network of LSD users and dealers connected. While the band Phish kept the party going for a few more years, after they stopped touring in 2000 figures for acid use began to plummet. (Slate)

Get waaaay more bizarre news at www.curioustimes.com.

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