Deli on the Grove 

"Waj, tell us how you managed to write yet another winning food review?"

"First of all, I want to thank your Savior and mine, the Almighty. Without Him, I could not achieve all the great things that you people can't. This last review was a tough one. Waj Nasser is used to getting the big assignments, but my agent asked me to do it, the money was right, and Waj Nasser doesn't duck anything, so I did it. But I won't lie; it was hard to get myself psyched up to write about a little sandwich shop in a bank building. I had to reach deep inside of myself."

"How did you prepare for this review?"

"Same as always. I make sure I'm hungry, and then I listen to the Clash before I go to war. It helps me get in the zone."

"The zone?"

"Yeah, when I'm in the zone, it's like all the food is moving in slow motion. I can taste it before it even hits my mouth, and I know where everything is on the plate without looking. It's like in the Matrix when all those bullets are flying around Keanu, but he doesn't get hit. It's just like that except I can tell butter from margarine. You know that club sandwich I had at the Deli on the Grove? Well, I took one bite, and it was as if my tongue instantaneously sorted out all the different things in there and stashed them in different parts of mymouth so I could swallow each thing separately. That's being in the zone."

"Wow. Any truth to the rumors that ..." "Tell us more about the deli!"

"One question at a time guys. The deli was cool. I thought this place was just for chips and snacks. But this dude, the owner, he sits there and makes your sandwich to order. They've got wraps and lots of different sandwiches made with fresh bread. Even after I walked in there I had to ask if they really had all the things he listed on the menu. There are only a couple stools to sit on--take-out mainly. Dude needs more exposure. He could use my agent."

"Have you ever used ster..." "You compared the club sandwich to the Supreme Court case Brown v. Board of Education. Can you tellus more?"

"I got bused when I was a kid. They called it desegregation. The club sandwich represents the beauty of integration. But there is a case from my hometown before the Court that might turn back the clock, and effectively keep lettuce from hanging out with tomato. I really liked the club sandwich, but the deli has some work to do to make it the best sandwich it can be. Plus, I like my bread toasted. See the connection?"

"Of course. Did anything come with the sandwich?"

"A pickle. And you can get sodas and other drinks, chips, and that sort of stuff. I think it's good for those suits who work in the bank. From what I saw, they don't have time to sit and eat, even though they look like that's all they do. Joke fellas--don't quote that."

"What about the steroids Waj? Any truth to the rumors?"

"Let me be clear. Waj Nasser doesn't need to take steroids to review Deli on the Grove, or any other restaurant, for that matter. People wonder how I do what I do, and I just tell 'em, hey, I do what I do. That's that on that. Next question."

"In your review, you nicknamed the deli owner 'Bronco.' Why?"

"See, Deli on the Grove is this little place owned by one dude trying to make it in the world. He's on the ground floor of this building full of successful bankers and lawyers. To me, that represents the big guy holding down the little guy, just like the BCS trying to keep the Boise States out of their bowls. But the Broncos put a whuppin' on the Man. If you love Boise State, then you've got to give some of that love to the Deli on the Groves of the world, too."

--When he's in the zone, Waj Nasser can clean his ears with his tongue.

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