Gender Reveal Party? 

Dear Minerva,

I just received an invitation to a gender reveal party. We aren't close friends and I had to Google what a gender reveal party is. The idea makes me uncomfortable, since we don't know each other well and I don't know if I should bring a gift. What would Minerva do?


—Kid Free Since '83

Dear KFS83,

First of all, let me correct you. You haven't been invited to a "gender reveal party." What you have been invited to is actually a "sex reveal party." Gender and sex are two separate things. A gender reveal party could happen much farther down the road, long after the child is born and can decide their own identity. Frankly, I find the whole idea of a party focusing on what genitals a child is going to have a bizarre and questionable trend. It also reeks of attention seeking, since you'll also likely be invited to a baby shower later. Who has that much free time? I wouldn't go to a genitalia reveal party based on principle alone. However, if you feel you must, remember it isn't a baby shower. Gifts are not necessary. If you are the type who never shows up empty handed, I would suggest a hostess gift. Expectant mothers go through a lot, so something with her comfort and relaxation in mind would be appreciated. Whether or not you decide to enlighten the hostess on the difference between gender and sex is up to you.

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