GO JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS TITLE • YOU'RE JUST PRETENDING TO BE DEPRESSED • IN THE FUTURE, YOU MIGHT HAVE A JOB • FYI • JUST TRY NOT TO BREATHE WHILE YOU'RE DRINKING IT • POST SOMETHING ON THE NET AN 

GO JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS TITLE

It's time once again to head over to TheBookseller.com and register your vote for the Diagram Prize for Oddest Book Title of the Year. The contest is now in its 30th year, and after much debate, the shortlist is down to six must-read titles, including I Was Tortured By the Pygmy Love Queen, How to Write a How to Write Book, and Are Women Human? When I cast my vote for Cheese Problems Solved, I noticed that the current leader is a book called If You Want Closure in Your Relationship, Start With Your Legs.

YOU'RE JUST PRETENDING TO BE DEPRESSED

After using the Freedom of Information Act to obtain the full test results of antidepressant drugs, scientists have published a report claiming that Prozac and similar drugs do not work any better than placebos. The study examined all available data, including clinical tests that manufacturers such as Glaxo SmithKline and Eli Lilly originally chose not to publish. Overall, all except the most severely depressed patients improved equally whether given a prescription drug or a sugar pill. "Given these results, there seems little reason to prescribe antidepressant medication to any but the most severely depressed patients, unless alternative treatments have failed," said the report's lead researcher, professor Irving Kirsch of the department of psychology at Hull University. The results were the same for all of the antidepressants for which they were able to obtain unpublished test results, including Prozac, Seroxat, Effexor and Serzone. (The Guardian)

IN THE FUTURE, YOU MIGHT HAVE A JOB

I may have just found the perfect job opportunity for unemployed readers of this column. The Echo Park Time Travel Mart in Los Angeles is looking for someone to run their store. This is the place to go if you're visiting from the past or the future and are missing some essential items from home such as Mammoth Chunks, Barbarian Repellent or Anti-Robot Fluid. While you're there, grab yourself a Time-Freezy Hyper Slush (which is out of order, unfortunately, but promised to be working if you come back yesterday). Check out some photos at CuriousTimes.com and then go apply for the job at 826la.org.

FYI

The next generation of slang has arrived as teens are now creating new slang words based on the predictive text function on cell phones. For example, when you try to text the word "cool," the first word that comes up is "book"—so now book means cool. Likewise, your mum is now your nun, kiss is now lips, and going down to the pub for a pint has been replaced by going to the sub for a shot. On a similar note, I found a Web site of texting shorthand at NetLingo.com/emailsh.cfm where you can learn great new phrases to text such as 4Q (Fork You), WMPL (Wet My Pants Laughing), SITCOMs (Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage), and IHA (I Hate Acronyms). (Ananova)

JUST TRY NOT TO BREATHE WHILE YOU'RE DRINKING IT

It seems counterintuitive that a filthy megatropolis with some of the worst air pollution in the world would win a drinking water contest, yet somehow, Los Angeles has won an international competition to find the world's tastiest tap water. Judges at the 18th Annual Berkeley Springs International Water Tasting competition gave Los Angeles first prize in the category of "Best Municipal Water in 2008" based on taste, odor, mouth feel, aftertaste and the absence of things floating in the water. (Fox News)

POST SOMETHING ON THE NET AND SEE IF ANYONE BELIEVES IT DAY

I'm not so sure why you should beware the ides of March, but there are some other days this month which you better keep your head up for, such as Be Nasty Day (March 8), Everything You Think Is Wrong Day (March 15), Festival Of Extraterrestrial Abductions Day (March 20), National Goof-off Day (March 22), and, of course, don't miss Make Up Your Own Holiday Day on March 26.

I-Read-it-on-the-INTERNET-SO-IT-MUST-BE-TRUE FACT OF THE WEEK

If you let your cat and all her offspring breed for 10 years, they'll produce 80,399,780 kittens.

Get way more bizarro news at CuriousTimes.com.

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