Dear Minerva,

I am a prudent fellow. It's rare that I indulge in one-night shenanigans. This past weekend, however, I met a guy that tickled every one of my prerequisites for being intimate. He's smart, funny, engaging, driven and not bad to look at. Needless to say, we had a great time that stretched into the early hours of the morning. After he left, I was compelled to seek him out on social media and instantly learned he's in a committed relationship. I don't feel disappointment from losing the chance to get to know him better, but I feel sick to my stomach and angry. How do you reconcile indignant rage from being misled with deep guilt for secretly hurting someone you don't even know? Is there something I should've done better?

—Sick to My Stomach

Dear sick,

You, my sweet, are guiltless in this situation. You're not responsible for Casanova's failure to remain faithful. Even if he and his partner have an open relationship, he should have had the courtesy to let you know what you were entering into. I have been in this scenario myself. Please realize there is nothing you could have done to assure everything was on the level. Societal expectations are that others will be honest with us but, unfortunately, some people deceive to get who they want. If there is such a thing as karma, Hell or some other magical accountability process, he'll get his. If there isn't, the world keeps turning. Your integrity is still intact.

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