I Know Who Killed Me 

You'll have to watch Lindsay Lohan's newest movie to find out who kills her, but if you want to know why, take a look at the girl's body of work: She can't act.

Aubrey Fleming (Lohan) is every bit the modern-day high-schooler. Under her dyed-black locks, she cheers at football games, teases boys and gives up piano lessons to focus on composing seedy but creative fiction on her Apple computer. After being abducted and mutilated by a psychotic killer, she's dumped and discovered in a ditch. But when she wakes in the hospital, Aubrey's no longer a suburbanite but an inner-city stripper named Dakota Moss ... or so she believes. Naturally, police and her parents call the transformation a trauma-induced defense-mechanism. But is there more to the case than there seems to be?

I Know Who Killed Me feels a lot like a rookie's handiwork despite Chris Sivertson's (The Best of Robbers, The Lost) helming of a handful of other films. There are intentional—and ridiculously overused—bluish hues and sky-colored objects used throughout the film, but for no apparent reason. Also, during production, much was made of Lohan's stripteases in the film, but not only are they overused and poorly executed, but also she is the only one who remains clothed at her job while co-workers parade naked in the background.

Lohan has yet to prove she has any talent since she graduated from her Disney phase. Despite knowing who killed her, this title's not going to help.

This video courtesy of Hollywood Video, 590 Broadway Ave., 208-342-6117.

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