If you Can't Beat 'Em, pick a different "'Em" 

Walter Bayes, a 67-year-old anti-abortion activist from Wilder who has--he claims--been on a hunger strike since January 9 to convince the Idaho Legislature to pen a law saying that life begins at conception, looks primed to wuss out on his pledge. Last week, he told the mainstream newsies that he will eat again if South Dakota Mike Rounds signs that state's new abortion ban bill into law. If you can hear us over the sound of your stomach eating itself, Walter, we're disappointed. Changing the rules this late in the game would be a letdown to all the people who, after reading the Idaho Statesman's bizarrely saccharine feature on you, were heard to say, "What the hell is that guy's major malfunction?" And anyway, starvation should come naturally to someone who is single-handedly (or spermedly) responsible for pumping 16 children into an already frighteningly overcrowded planet.

And in the "I'll just say what we're all thinking. Oh, you weren't thinking that?" department, one BW staffer who wished to remain unnamed said that he or she was rooting for Bayes to hold out ... but not because of any agreement with his message. "Go ahead, save us the Social Security," the staffer said. Ouch!

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