Dear Minerva,

I have a friend who easily works himself into the daily lives and experiences of the people around him. The really problematic thing for me is his willingness to not only be incredibly involved in people's lives but also to offer help in a very strange way. Everything that he does for someone seems to come with a price. I have seen him do this to many people. He offers himself in a seemingly kind and generous fashion, but it always ends with this feeling that something is owed to him later for his efforts. It sets my intuition off in a most unpleasant way and I'm worried for those on his list of righteous benevelovence. Do I butt in and warn others about how I feel?


Not Falling For It

Dear NIFI,

Unfortunately, no matter what our own intuition tells us, it usually isn't enough to persuade someone else about another person. Intuition is personal and not infallible. Butting in and telling people your suspicions may just end up making you look like a gossip who likes to stir the pot, especially if he is well liked. I would stay polite with him. If your intuition has determined him to be a smarmy snake oil salesman, then keep your cool and don't buy into his trickery. Protect yourself. Kindness and generosity should be given freely without any expectation or thought as to what one will get in the future. Thankfully, you seem in tune to that. Good luck!

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