Latter Day Stressed 

Dear Minerva,

I'm a white Mormon man, and I've lived my entire life hiding the fact that I'm attracted to men. I'm married with children and embedded in my professional, social and church communities as a straight male. I dream of living life as a gay man with a gay man at my side for the rest of my life. I lay awake at night worrying about how such a dramatic change will affect my professional, social and church life, but I feel like I can handle all that—the difficult part is telling my wife and kids. How??!

Sincerely,

Latter Day Stressed

Dear LDS,

You have no easy task ahead of you. I believe you were acting in good faith when you started your journey with your wife. Many try to adhere to the tenets of their faith and expectations of their church when building their lives. You owe it to yourself to live an honest life. Your wife also deserves an honest life. I'd suggest starting a conversation with your wife letting her know what is going on. You might employ a relationship counselor to help with this. Once you've gotten to a place of understanding with her, then the two of you, since you are both still parents, can decide how and when to tell your children. Brace yourself for fallout. Speak your truth. Aid the healing in whatever way you can. Visit affirmations.org to see how other Mormons and their families are navigating these issues.

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