Lost Boys: The Tribe 

This direct-to-DVD release looked absolutely terrible, but I figured, what the heck. Honestly, how bad could it be? After all, it's the sequel to a movie I absolutely adored as a kid: 1987's The Lost Boys.

How bad could it be? Absolutely horrendous.

A young surfer (Tad Hilgenbrink, Epic Movie), is thrown off the professional circuit for rules violations after his parents die and moves with his 17-year-old sister (Autumn Reeser, TV's The O.C.) to a small town in California that is overrun with teenaged, angst-ridden adrenaline-junky vampires. When the head bloodsucker (Angus Sutherland, Harold & Kumar 2) takes a liking to sis, bro teams with vampire hunter Edgar Frog (Corey Feldman, The Lost Boys) to get her back.

To use surfer lingo: "Dude, like what were you guys thinking?" This movie is just straight up rotten. The acting is poor, the dialogue is ridiculous, the production value is low and there's scarcely a thread of connection to the original movie.

If you, like me, were holding out some hope that if the movie was bad, it may still be fun to see what the filmmakers did with some of your favorite characters from the original, you'll be let down. Though both Corey Haim and Jamison Newlander reprise their roles, all of their scenes are cut and they're only featured for about one minute in extremely awkward alternate endings.

In summary, I would rather be sucked dry by a vampire than watch this film again.

This video courtesy of Hollywood Video, 590 Broadway Ave., 208-342-6117.

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