Minerva's Breakdown: Heads Up 

"This may be a good time to assess your own roles in your relationships."

Dear Minerva,

I'm writing today about an issue I seem to have perennially, and I've never really found a healthy way to deal with it. Basically, I find that whenever I see two people enjoying each other's company, be they friend, stranger or foe, I find myself completely consumed with jealousy. This is especially problematic where friends are concerned. I try to communicate, but that usually just leads to a total information blackout, which is somehow even less fun than being jealous and sad. I guess what I want to know is, am I really so insecure that this is bothering me? What does one normally do about this kind of thing?

-Signed, Irritated-in-Idaho

Dear III,

This may be a good time to assess your own roles in your relationships. Are you dependent on them to make plans or do you take the initiative? Actively investing in those you care about will help to silence that voice that keeps lying to you and telling you that you aren't worthy. Every single time you are feeling jealousy in these ways, stop, think about how it feels to be with someone you care about, smile, and feel happy for them. Maybe, just maybe, this will attract what you want from the world, which has been passing you by, not because of your insecurity, but because of that pesky "Green-Eyed Monster" chasing it off at every turn. It will take time but you will find that acknowledging the negative feeling you have in that moment and then replacing it ASAP with a positive one will help you not only in these cases of jealousy, but also help you to navigate other stressors in life as well.

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