Minerva's Breakdown: Thirty-Something 

"In my own experience, I have had infinitely more fun in my 30s than I had in my 20s."

Minerva Jayne

Adam Rosenlund

Minerva Jayne

DEAR MINERVA,

I am a gay man who had a lot of fun in my 20s. Now that I am 30, which so many people consider "gay dead," I don't know what to do. How do I deal with life after 30?

—Sincerely, Thirty-Something

DEAR THIRTY-SOMETHING,

I have no idea why you would be asking ME! I am a mere slip of a girl at 21. Okay! Okay! So I said "goodbye" to my 20s some time ago. In my own experience, I have had infinitely more fun in my 30s than I had in my 20s. My 30s came along with a great deal more confidence in what I want out of the world and a lot more opportunities for growth and fulfillment in very real, tangible ways. One of the most nefarious misconceptions in the gay community is that age is anything more than a number. Buying into the idea that you are "gay dead" at 30 is contributing to the ageism and body fascism that is far too rampant. We are not meant to spend 18 years of our lives learning and growing for only a decade of value to others. That is a ridiculous, asinine thought. Life is still just beginning and your 30s should be a fabulous time. I encourage you to focus less on the number and more on what you want. Think of yourself as a fine wine or a beautiful work of art, increasing in value and desirability with each passing year. Anyone who devalues you because of your age is a foolish, vapid, boring human.

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