Minerva's Breakdown: Wrecked 

Dear Minerva,

My boyfriend and I started our relationship talking freely about our sexual past. I experienced jealousy at times, but maintained that I'd rather speak frankly with one another. A few months ago I mentioned something about an ex's size that made him uncomfortable. I apologized right away, explaining if things were the other way around I wouldn't feel comfortable hearing that either. Now, he brings it up all the time, even when it has nothing to do with what we're talking about. I try to comfort him, telling him I fully enjoy our love life. It doesn't help. Recently, we were arguing over something trivial and he called me "stretched out" and "wrecked". Is this repairable? I don't know who feels more sexually insecure now.

—Sincerely, Wrecked

Dear Wrecked,

Sometimes body shaming sneaks up on us, doesn't it? Much attention is paid to female body shaming, while men hide their hurt at the importance placed on their penis size. Not only have men been expected to be masculine/successful/virile, they're also expected to stifle emotion, even if their junk isn't someone else's treasure. Every wrong action or ostentatious vehicle becomes an "overcompensation" (even for the POTUS). This is repairable but not without a difficult conversation about it. Jealousy is easier to swallow than feeling inadequate. The seeds of doubt that we plant in others bear bitter fruit indeed. Get back in bed with each other. The proof is in the pud.

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