Minerva's Breakdown 

Advice for those on the verge

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Dear Minerva,

My partner keeps looking at porn. He knows I don't approve of it and how disgusting it makes me feel when he wants to have sex after watching such things. I come from a background of sexual abuse, and I know that is one reason I am so opposed to porn and the porn industry. Is this normal in most relationships? Am I alone in my feelings of insecurity? Do you consider it cheating? We have a wonderful sex life and complete each other fully. I don't understand why he feels the need to look at porn with me right beside him.

Sincerely,

Overrated X

Dear X,

First of all, at least you know your problem with porn is just that: your problem. Porn and the porn industry are indeed controversial, but it doesn't change the fact people are sexual beings. I don't consider porn to be cheating. With that said, it is up to you to define what you feel infidelity is in your relationship. You admitted to having a satisfying sex life. You shouldn't be feeling inadequate if he is living his life with you and having sex with you. My advice is to get over it and focus on all the wonderful ways he is there for you. I do know this: Shaming him will do no good. If you complete each other truly, you must accept him as he is.

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