Minerva's Breakdown 

Advice for those on the verge

Dear Minerva,

My boo and I used to "play" in that we used to have threesomes. Then, cheating happened. Then monogamy happened. I love "us" and I love this relationship. I'm dedicated to it for the long haul, but how can I bring up, "Remember how it used to be? Remember those hot three-ways? Want to try "that" again?"

—Three's Company

Dear Three's Company,

If you have been through this much already, why are you finding it so hard to approach this subject? Just bring it up casually. Maybe ask your "boo" what kind of fantasies they are having these days. Then it will open the discussion and you can share your fantasies. If concern comes up about cheating, this would be the perfect time to talk about what you have learned from the prior experiences. There are very few problems that cannot be overcome by discussing and setting down some ground rules. While not the norm, polyamorous or open relationships are increasing in popularity and they are working very well for some people. There is still an element of danger in this. You will be playing with fire with this kind of scenario but, as adults, you should be able to make some agreements, abide by them, have your fun and maintain your relationship. If you get major pushback from your boo, then you must also respect that. If this is a deal-breaker for you, then you aren't really in it for the long haul. Best of Luck.

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