Mr. Cope's Cave: Another One Bites the Dust 

Didn't you like Prince, Mr. Cope?

I liked Prince just fine, Junior. Why would you ask?

Because you haven't said anything about him in your blog.

It's only been a week. And there's other stuff going on.

Oh. So you do intend to say something about him.

Well... not really, no. I figure there's enough being said about him that the world won't miss my contribution. Besides, I don't really have anything to contribute. His music didn't play much of a part in my life, not like Glenn Frey's or Maurice White's. Or even Bowie's. I wouldn't have been able to come up with even a hint of personal connection to Prince, so I decided to stay out of this one.

So you didn't like his music?

That's not what I said. I said I had no personal connection to his music. That's not the same as saying I didn't like his music. In fact, I consider "Purple Rain" to be one of the strongest rock songs ever done.

You mean, like what they call a "rock anthem?"

I don't know what that means, "rock anthem." It's just a big, strong, beefy song, that's all I know. I compare it to "Hey Jude" or "Hotel California." Maybe "Stairway to Heaven" or "Layla."

Wow. As good as "Stairway to Heaven," huh? So you must really, really like his music.

Uh, that's not exactly what I said, either. I just said I thought "Purple Rain" was a great song. The rest of his music... um, I guess I don't really have an opinion one way or the other on that. I just know that anything called "Strawberry Beret" or "Let's Go Crazy" isn't quite in the same league.

I think you mean, "Raspberry Beret," Mr. Cope. And I just don't understand how you don't have more to say about the passing of a rock icon.

Nope, I'm pretty sure it's "Strawberry Beret." And the thing is, see, I didn't even know Prince was a rock icon until he died. Sometimes, I wonder if we might have a few too many rock icons running around. It's hard to keep track of them all.

But whether or not that's true, when one of them dies, don't you think it's up to you, as a commenter on social phenomena, to comment on it.

I guess I can sort of understand why people would expect me to say something about things like this... seeing as how I've set myself up as a critic of the general culture and all. But you know, with so many rock icons still out there, and what with most of them getting up in years, I have to be choosy or I might end up spending half my time commenting on whoever has died in any given week. My blog could turn into an obituary page for rock icons. You wouldn't know this at your age, but a lot of older people get to feeling like the only thing they have to look forward to is going to funerals of the friends they out live.

That's pretty darn morbid, Mr. Cope.

Tell me about it! And that's exactly why I need to put a limit on how many tributes I write to dearly-beloved rock icons. People will get to thinking I'm just sitting around, hoping another musician kicks the bucket so I'll have something to write about. That's not a good image for someone who's been trying to pass himself off as a humorist for 20 years.

No, I don't suppose it is. By the way, I looked it up on my iPhone and it is "Raspberry." "Raspberry Beret."

Yeah? Huh. Must be another rock icon I'm thinking of.

Could be. You know, there's a rock band called "Strawberry Parfait." Maybe that's what you were thinking.

I'll bet that's it. Strawberry Parfait, huh? Are they a rock icon.

Not yet, Mr. Cope. Not yet.
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