Mr. Cope's Cave: Sorta Like This Meta-Mobius-Strip-Socratic-Dialogue-Whatever-Thing 

Ah, Junior. Am I ever glad to see you. You gotta help me with something.

You did it without me!

I did what without you?

The 23 dimwits blog. You did it without me.

Scooter, I do a lot of things without you. Most things, actually.

But I thought we had this thing going. You know?... where I'd ask you about one subject, and you'd insist we change the subject to something else, but then the next time we talk you'd change it back to the subject I'd asked you about in the first place, and then at the end of the interview, you sort of drop a hint about a subject we might talk about next time?... you know? And then when I showed up to talk about that, you'd change the subject again. It was like this meta-Mobius-strip-Socratic dialogue thing we had going.

I don't know what you're talking about, Jethro. What the hell are you talking about?

You know! It's been going on for about three weeks now. I thought it was another one of those continuing series of yours, and you were including me in it.

How could I be doing a continuing series that included you in it, especially when Friday I did a blog that didn't have anything to do with you at all?

That's what I mean! You did it without me!

Well, I'm sorry... I guess. But I wasn't aware of this Mobius-Socrates-meta-strip-whatever thing you're talking about. And look, as much as I enjoy our conversations, I can't be using you in every damn thing I write. It makes me look lazy.


Yeah. It makes me look like I'm too lazy to think of things to write on my own. Like, if you weren't coming over here all the time asking me what I think about stuff going on in the world out there, I'd just sit here like a navel-gazing lump writing about... oh, you know... things like "A funny thing happened to me on the way to the bathroom." Or, like, "Hey, what about those dust bunnies, huh? What's that all about?"

So you want to write more blogs totally by yourself just to show people you don't depend on me.

That's right. I don't want people thinking you're some kind of Ideas-on-Wheels guy who stops by twice a week to feed me subject matter. See what I mean?

Um, I guess I can understand that.

Good. Now, you gotta help me with something.

Uh, are you sure, Mr. Cope? I mean, won't it make you look too lazy because you don't want to do it, yourself.

Oooooh, I see. Now you're going to get catty on me.

No, no. I wouldn't do that, Mr. Cope. Why would I get catty on you? Really, I don't mind at all that you put me in your blogs every time it suits you, and I don't mind one bit that you exploit my ideas whenever you feel like it, but then you totally ignore me when you come up with something on your own. Oh, no, Mr. Cope. I don't mind. You just go ahead and get help from me whenever you feel like it. After all, that's what I'm here for... to accommodate you.


Now, what is it you need help with, Mr. Cope?

Never mind. I'll figure it out by myself.

Aw c'mon, Mr. Cope. Let me help you. After all, that's what I'm around for... just to help you.

No. I'll do it myself.

Are you sure?

Absolutely. It can't be that hard.

What can't be that hard?

Getting off Facebook.

Facebook! You're on Facebook?

Well, the deal is, I'm not sure. See, I did this log-in, sign-up, something-or-other thing because I wanted to... no, dammit! This is my problem. I'll figure it out. You can just go on home, Fonzy. Or where ever you go when you leave here.

Gee, Mr. Cope. I didn't mean to make you mad. And if you want help with some problem with Facebook, I'll be more than happy to...

Nope! Nope! You just go on home, Sonny. Believe me. I can figure this out. I don't need you.

Well... OK. I'll be going now. Will I see you Friday?

Uh, I don't think so. Seems like I have something to do Friday.

Well, then... OK. See you whenever. And good luck with that Facebook problem... whatever it is.

Yeah. Whatever.
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