Now That's Autoerotic! 

Last Thursday, Ada County sheriff's deputies arrested Heriberto Escalante, 21, and Pedro Cardenas-Briones, 19, after reportedly catching the men walking along a residential lane south of Boise checking car doors to see if they were unlocked. What was the purpose of these checks? The felony burglary charges levied against the two illegal immigrants imply one answer: "To take stuff." On the other hand, if Escalante and Cardenas-Briones were aspiring to act like legal Idahoans, they may have just intended to drive the cars around and masturbate in them.

Case study one in Idaho autoeroticism comes from the northern burg of Rathdrum, home to 49-year-old Bradley Keegan, a shop worker at a Chrysler dealership in nearby Spokane, Wash. On October 6, Keegan allegedly took a 16-mile jaunt in a van that Spokane Police officer Sherilyn Redmond had dropped off for a tuneup and oil change. Sixteen miles in a minivan may not sound like much of a joyride, but Keegan maximized his joy by stripping bare and shifting his personal manual transmission while repeatedly passing a female motorist. The motorist called police, who traced the plates to their fellow officer Redmond, who called the dealership, which deemed the call a prank and hung up. Another call, this time straight to the owner, got the point across. Redmond's coworkers promptly arrested Keegan and charged him with lewd conduct and felony taking a vehicle without permission. The Spokesman Review later reported that the dealership provided Redmond with a rental car while they performed a complete detail on her van.

Case two: Perhaps inspired by Mr. Keegan's well-publicized wild ride, a male suspect pulled up to Hottie's Mochas and More, a drive-thru coffee stand on Chinden Boulevard in Garden City, at 6:30 a.m. on October 19.

Police say after the man got his coffee and paid for it, he offered a bold interpretation of " ... and More" by showing the barista his ( ... searching desperately for an espresso analogy ... bingo!) foam wand. Garden City officers arrested Michael Obanion, 43, of Caldwell at his place of employment later in the afternoon.

Pin It
Favorite

Comments


Comments are closed.

More by Nicholas Collias


Submit an Event

© 2017 Boise Weekly

Website powered by Foundation