Dear Minerva,

When I was a 24-year-old single mom, I dated and later married a man 28 years my senior. I firmly believed age was "just a number." He knew me better than I knew myself.…

Dear Minerva,

I'm exhausted by social media. I can hardly stand to log in to Facebook anymore. The posts fill me with disappointment about our world.…

Dear Minerva,

I travel a lot for my job, and get greeted with a formal greeting like "Hello Mr. Smith. Welcome back to the hotel." It got me thinking, if I didn't identify as male or female, what would be the appropriate greeting other than Mr. or Ms. for a non-binary person?

Dear Minerva,

My mother recently died and I have had hard the task of going through her things. I didn't expect it to be easy. I also didn't expect to discover that there appear to have been Nazis in our family.…

Dear Minerva,

I had a friend that was like a brother to me. Then his boyfriend tried to sleep with me and I was cut out. I think he blames me, and people can have their opinions, but I genuinely care for this friend and would never desire to hurt him. He rejects and ignores all of my reaching out.…


My boyfriend and I moved in together after a year of dating. His kids and my kids get along well, however, one of his kids stirs up issues with his ex-wife. I adore this man - he's thoughtful, funny, and can keep up with me in bed like no man before him.…

Dear Minerva,

I love hosting friends, and want to have people over, but I fear that having a strong personality and a reputation as someone who likes to have 'fun' while openly partnered leads people to not come over when I'm not seeking more than friendship. How do I balance friends in town, keep a reputation from going out of control and also explore sexuality when it's wanted?

—Sincerely, Sociable

Dear Minerva,

I'm writing today about an issue I seem to have perennially, and I've never really found a healthy way to deal with it. Basically, I find that whenever I see two people enjoying each other's company, be they friend, stranger or foe, I find myself completely consumed with jealousy. This is especially problematic where friends are concerned.…


You state strong opinions with class, yet somehow avoid the current abusive socio-political fray in our country. What would you recommend to keep such a well-focused perspective?

—Sincerely, Fray Melee

Dear Minerva,

I really try to be open-minded and accept that we all come from different parts of the world and have different viewpoints, but recently one of my Facebook "friends" made some blatantly racist remarks. So my question is, do I call him out publicly like was done to Roseanne Barr, or just quietly unfriend him?

—Sincerely, Holding Back

Dear Minerva,

I have a friend who is unhappy with her body. Whenever our friend group gets together, she insists on reviewing any photos that will be posted online. If she doesn't like a photo, she'll ask that person to send her the photo so she can crop it or she'll veto it. If it's posted without her permission, she'll demand that it be deleted.…

Dear Minerva,
One of my closest friends is in a relationship with a guy that she has only been dating for about 5 months. She has decided to move in with him even though they haven’t been together that long. I want her to be happy but I worry that this will put her in a bad place in a couple of months if it doesn’t work out. How do I talk her out of it?

Dear Minerva,

In a couple of your articles you have used "LGBTQIA+." I know what the "LGBT" is. Can you explain the "QIA" and especially the "+" please?

Sincerely, XYZ?

Pride week is here and that means there will many people out and about this week celebrating LGBTQIA+ accomplishments. Here are a few thing to keep in mind:

1. Everyone who supports LGBTQIA+ rights is welcome.…

Dear Minerva,

I'm grieving a difficult breakup. I'm feeling completely devastated by the loss of this relationship. He was someone that I had dreamed of meeting and when he confessed his love for me, I was suddenly the happiest person in the world.…

Dear Minerva,

I have a friend who constantly dogs on my religion. I am a person of faith but I also question some teachings and have remained open to other people's ideas. This friend makes it a point to declare my beliefs as incorrect while simultaneously talking about their own hardcore belief in astrology.…

Dear Minerva,

I have recently started to make peace with my body. I have always been a curvier girl and there has always been pressure on me to lose weight. I have made some amazing strides to do so and part of what has helped me is using social media to post progress as well as post pictures of myself when I feel beautiful and sexy.…

Dear Minerva,

I am a healthy, sexually active, adult male who tries to practice safe sex in my activities (ie: using a condom when engaging in intercourse and fellatio). However, I have yet to come up with a "safe" way to engage in my favorite activity—cunninlingus. It seems rather silly to put a condom on my tongue, leaving my lips and mouth unprotected.…

Dear Minerva,

The recent comments made on Twitter by Randa Jarrar regarding the passing of former First Lady Barbara Bush have caused some contention in the ranks of my friend group. We think of ourselves as a pack of hip, educated, feminist people. Some members of the group feel Randa Jarrar is justified in her comments.…

Dear Minerva,

I have a friend who easily works himself into the daily lives and experiences of the people around him. The really problematic thing for me is his willingness to not only be incredibly involved in people's lives but also to offer help in a very strange way. Everything that he does for someone seems to come with a price.…

Honorable Minerva,

I've been a reader for awhile and I've come to trust the type of advice you give. I'm a father of three, separated from my children because the relationships with their mothers didn't work out. I've worked through most of my issues, and soon, I'll be working my way back into their lives.

More Minerva's Breakdown »


The Importance of Choice

A mother and daughter discuss their open adoption in light of Kavanaugh's nomination to SCOTUS

No, We're Not Your Enemy. Never Have Been. Never Will Be.

It may seem obvious, but at this particular moment in our nation's history it's important to say these words with clarity: There is nothing fake, disgusting or sick about pursuing the truth.


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